13+ years of this, 6,000+ hrs.... besides the people we met along the way, it's becoming a big regret and waste of time or potential. Gaming won't and hasn't made me happy, and it does not build a path that get's me any meaningful goal - career, home, family. The hard part is letting go in order to actually change. Games are simply put... easy, there is no trial, no real pain, growth or fulfilling achievement. We didn't build, create or serve to a matter slightly bigger than ourselves. You could argue it's the fun & memories, but that's just a moment of self desire & pleasure... consumption. The skill of easy focus or lack of focus it trained. Only doing what you feel like, stopping at the slightest point of discomfort and changing games, quitting when it's hard or got boring, never to finish. This is a terrible training system, teaching your mind to take the easy path, letting your flesh have it's way with no discipline.
These manifest in me now, learning, socializing, facing fear or hardship.
This is how I loose.
Maybe this is just me, but games were an escape, a coping strategy of my younger self living in a broken and unsafe home. This does not work anymore... it's safe, but won't be safe moving forward.
Like Andy in Toy Story - He gets older, goes to college. When he was younger he says "I don't want to play anymore."
I can't be the child who puts play first.
God calls us to become new in him, it's slow... but it's the narrow path, truth... wisdom... and that's most of what I want.
I've been running away from home,
But all I want is a home.