If jcobbb thinks, I agree. If jcobbb speaks, I listen. If jcobbb calls a strat, I trust it with my life. If jcobbb entries a site, I already know the round is won. If jcobbb whiffs, then the game is bugged. If jcobbb drops 30, I act surprised even though it's expected

If the whole server is against jcobbb, then I am against the whole server. If jcobbb has a million fans, I am one of them. If jcobbb has one fan, it is me. If jcobbb has no fans, then I have left this world

I don't watch Counter-Strike for trophies, I watch it to witness jcobbb move around the map like he has wallhacks blessed by the gods of CS. Every crosshair placement is art. Every spray transfer belongs in a museum. Every clutch adds another chapter to the greatest story ever told

People say nobody is perfect. Those people have never seen jcobbb on a heater. They say every player has weaknesses. I have yet to see one. They say the GOAT debate is open. It ended the moment jcobbb loaded into the server

When jcobbb wins, I celebrate. When jcobbb loses, I blame the game, the ping, the map pool, and the alignment of the stars. I trust jcobbb more than I trust my own instincts

I wasn't born a fan of jcobbb. I was simply destined to become one.