Revan was only 23 years old.
He loved TF2 so much.
He had most of the achievements and items.
He prayed to Gaben every night before bed, thanking him for the inventory he's been given.
"TF2 is love," he says, "TF2 is life."
His elder Dragon hears him and calls him a silver scrublord.
He knows his elder is just jealous of his son's devotion to Gabe.
He calls him a console peasant.
He slaps him and sends him to sleep.
He's crying now and his face hurts.
He lays in bed, and it's really cold.
He feels a warmth moving towards him.
He looks up.
It's Gabe!
He's so happy,
Gabe whispers into Revan's ear, "Try your chances... Open a chest."
Gaben grabs Revan with his powerful dev-team hands and puts him on his hands and knees.
He's ready.
Revan opens his pockets for Gabe.
Gabe puts his hands deep into Revan's pockets.
It costs so much, but Revan does it for TF2.
Revan can feel his wallet emptying as his eyes start to water.
He accepts the terms and conditions.
Revan wants to please Gabe.
Gaben lets out a mighty roar as he fills Revan's computer with keys.
Revan opens all the cases and gets nothing worth anything at all.

TF2 is love...
TF2 is life...

Revan was only 23 years old. He loved TF2 so much. He had most of the achievements and items. He prayed to Gaben every night before bed, thanking him for the inventory he's been given. "TF2 is love," he says, "TF2 is life." His elder Dragon hears him and calls him a silver scrublord. He knows his elder is just jealous of his son's devotion to Gabe. He calls him a console peasant. He slaps him and sends him to sleep. He's crying now and his face hurts. He lays in bed, and it's really cold. He feels a warmth moving towards him. He looks up. It's Gabe! He's so happy, Gabe whispers into Revan's ear, "Try your chances... Open a chest." Gaben grabs Revan with his powerful dev-team hands and puts him on his hands and knees. He's ready. Revan opens his pockets for Gabe. Gabe puts his hands deep into Revan's pockets. It costs so much, but Revan does it for TF2. Revan can feel his wallet emptying as his eyes start to water. He accepts the terms and conditions. Revan wants to please Gabe. Gaben lets out a mighty roar as he fills Revan's computer with keys. Revan opens all the cases and gets nothing worth anything at all. TF2 is love... TF2 is life...