Who did you see?

Michael, from Vsauce.

Where did you see him?

He was sitting on a bench outside of my window, staring in. He was wearing his flannel shirt and holster

How did seeing him make you feel?

Scared. I know he’s coming, it’s a matter of time.

What makes you say that?

That’s what Michael does. He picks a girl he likes. He follows her home wearing his polo and trenchcoat, he puts her picture in a single frame of his vsauce1 videos, then he kills her. He pulls her into his lab, his dungeon, and does reddit experiments on her. He uses her as a crash test dummy to see what humans taste like. He asks her to count past infinity. He shows her cool math tricks. He invites the guys from the other two vsauce channels over to have fun and do quirky gamer stuff, and then when he’s done with her, he kills her. He slashes her neck and posts the pictures on an untitled imgur album. I saw him kill one in person. A day later I found the album randomly. He knows I saw so know I’m his new toy. I…

What?

I don’t know why I’m talking about this with you. It’s not like you can stop him. Nobody can. He is the closest thing we have seen to god on earth. With 2 million views in one day, he will be able to sate his sick desires, forever… forever… forever…