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When I logged ingame =__= I loaded into Limsa and looked up and saw…SAIKAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <333333333333!!!! “KONNICHIWA OMGZZZ SUPA SUPA KAWAII SAIKA-SAMA!!!!!” I typed n____n then he emote spammed and inspected me [O.O;;;;;;;;] and saw how hot my glam is __ he sent me a party invite and winked ~^ then pulled me behind the market board o_o and /hugged me!!!!!! [OMG!!!>.> <.< >.< (O) (O) (O)] then I saw some fat baka player watching us [-__-;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó)] so I typed “UH UH THAT’S MY MAN!!! (ò_ó)” then Saika held me close =^= and said he’d only ever play with me and /hugged me again!!!!!!! ** (O)/ then we partied all night grinding dungeons!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^__<)
Why, you ask?
Well, right when I'm about to release my clam chowder all over my actresses face, I would freeze time and take a break.
Then after my break, I would dump some more baby-gravy on her face and freeze time again. I would keep doing this for what feels like centuries. Just thousands of times of me unfreezing long enough to dump mayonnaise and refreezing again.
Then after all of that time of releasin' the semen, I would unfreeze time. then lo and behold, the world's longest and most unexplainable moneyshot with the girl being buried in the Elmer's glue looking more like a sticky Jabba the Hutt type creature than a girl after the multiple houred length moneyshot.
To top it off, my hair and beard would continue to grow the whole time so as I'm spewing out this monumental load of gusher juice and my hair would gray as I aged away.
people would talk about the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that changed the world for millenniums to come