He was the son of thy Holy Cast Iron

Hello fellow Pangoers and welcome to the Church of the Holy Pan

I your Pope, Troyjot, also known as the Head Iron Chef and my two Cardinals Slapnutz and Pandora are here to lead you to Panheaven. Our only qualifications to be part of our great Church is that you must have a pan, it must be ordained by one of us three, once ordained your pan must have a specific name and the description must be the same as the rest of us. Finally you must be a zealous follower of the Holy Pan.

On the First day of creation the Holy Pan was created by the Holy Cast Iron and sent upon our universe to do as the Holy Pan pleased. On this first day the Holy Pan decided that it had done enough for the day and rested.

On the Second day of creation the Holy Pan created food, for its pleasure, but was alarmed when the Pan could not show anyone its great works of art, so it created the rest of the universe, just so we could see the greatness that can be born out of the Holy Pan.

On the Third Day of creation the Holy Pan was alarmed when the Ham revolted up against it, the Pan did not know what to do, so it struck the Ham down casting it upon the Deep Freeze Freezer. But this did not bode well with some of the other foods, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster saved the ham from its frozen tomb. Alarmed the Holy Pan called upon one of its most devoted disciples, the Holy Mackerel, to fight against these heretical scum. So the Holy Pan along with the Holy Mackerel fought off the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Ham and condemned them to the Freezer for eternity.