The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ players ever to download Dota

You have been picked, as you are the trench tier of the trench tiers. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-noobs of the noobs. The biggest scrubs of the scrubs. You are one of the worst players imaginable. Congratulations!

The goal is to find the worst player imaginable.
Invite everyone you beat so that we can find the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Dota 2 player of history.

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SWAT Team Report

9 December, 2015 - Big Pharma Llama | 0 Comments

Status of Message: Classified

Status of Swat Team: KIA/MIA

Status of Equipment: Damaged

At exactly 02:00 our SWAT team was deployed in a hostile environment to deal with a bear problem. All people involved in the operation are assumed to be dead or in captivity of the bears. A common tactic employed by these terrorists is the use of the song Fortunate Son. To counter this song in future operations, smooth jazz will be broadcasted at a higher frequency.

Bear Problem

9 December, 2015 - Big Pharma Llama | 1 Comments

Recently several bears have broken into my 3m by 3m house. They are playing Fortunate Son on repeat and refuse to stop until their demands are met. I have attempted to offer them crab meat however they will settle for nothing less than ♥♥♥♥ Smith canned salmon. "Talk To The Techxperts."

While I have been known to carry salmon on me at all times, they have used their cunning bear tactics and ambushed me at a time without salmon. If you any suggestions pls contact me via fax.

With love and kisses

God