WE WORSHIP THE HOLY MACKERAL AND THE SANTA SLAPPER

The Church Of The Santa Slapper is dedicated to a very special newfound Holiday tradition. Smissmas only comes once a year for good mercenaries like ourselves, and what better way to spend the Holidays than slapping each other in the face with the Holy Mackeral? But not just any Holy Mackeral! A very special gift wrapped up and delivered to us by Saxton Claus himself! Rejoice, everyone, for we've been gifted with the fish of our greatest dreams that will provide us with the ultimate Smissmas experience!