Rats

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a block of cheese from the family refrigerator
This just happened and I can't believe I did that... Obviously I can't tell anyone I know about this but I really need to get it off my chest.

So recently I have been hornier than ever. I have no clue why but I have been ridiculously horny all the time for the last few months. I am a 19 year old in quarantine so maybe that's it??

Tonight I planned on yanking the ol' meat stick as I do every night, but something hit me. I felt a little annoyed because I'm tired of just using my hand all the time and wanted something new.

I have no clue why, out of every single thing I could have thought of, the first thing that came to my mind was the block of cheese in the fridge. I could have been the average redditor and ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a coconut, sock or a couch, but no, for some reason it had to be a block of cheese.

I waited for my parents to be asleep for a little bit before making my way up from the basement to the kitchen fridge. In my horny state, I did not once question why I was about to do this.

When I got to the fridge, I carefully opened it, got the cheese out and went back downstairs.

I set the cheese on the couch and got ready...

Now here's a piece of advice for anyone who ever wants to ♥♥♥♥ a block of cheese. HEAT THAT ♥♥♥♥ UP BEFORE STICKING YOUR ♥♥♥♥ IN IT.

Having your ♥♥♥♥ in a very cold block of cheese is not a very pleasant feeling... I couldn't heat it in the microwave because I didn't want to wake my family up. So I was stuck here ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a very cold block of cheese.

I will admit, besides it being cold... It wasn't too bad. If it was heated up it would have been the best sexual experience I've ever had.

So umm I jizzed in the cheese... Bigger load than normal so this whole thing looked disgusting and I already felt post-nut regret.

I put the whole thing at the bottom of the big trash can in my laundry room which never really gets checked. If anyone asks I'll just say I was super hungry and ate the whole block of cheese.

As I am writing this I just realized that cheese isn't gonna stay fresh for long in there and it will start to smell... Need to put it on the curb for the garbage truck soon...

Overall 7/10 experience. Probably won't do it again and you should never consider being like me.