PAIN

http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/267218287320918612/93C779C0531A17F61AC0C5CACD665909A34F3B29/
https://gifsound.com/?gifv=8gv165n&v=dzB2cN-AU8w&s=10
THIS IS WHAT WE ARE!
I'm the Man, okay? Basically when I go into work, I sit down at my huge mahogany desk littered in Apple products I don't know how to use, and then I make a list of things I can do to perpetuate the plight of colored folks, poor people, the Irish, old people, orientals, skanks, people who watch jersey shore, and new born kittens/puppies. Usually I will make this list on 100 dollar bills, or first edition copies of Harry Potter novels. No big deal.
After work, I like to read reddit. I frequent r/gaming and every time I see somebody post about being poor and they can't buy the latest new game, I make a tally. At the end of the day, I will buy a copy of every game for every tally I have and will individually take each copy and rub a spork on the back of it and then send each copy to the poor, unsuspecting redditors. Got you good, huh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥?
At the end of the day, if I have the energy, I might give myself a raise. My smoking hot wife may want sex, but if I don't feel like it, I can literally EYE ♥♥♥♥ her into multiple orgasms. If I do want to have sex, I penetrate her with my massive 16" dong which will actually probably kill her. Guess I didn't need a prenup after all!
I have my own sweat shop in the basement which is protected by imported Imperial Guards from Europe. Here, Asian children no older than 6 1/2 will hand make all of my clothing and bedding from hand milked spiders. It takes about 1,000,000 spiders to make a piece of clothing, but ♥♥♥♥ it's worth it. Any child that is seen as unfit to remain a part of the workforce will be sent to Siberia. No reason for that, but if you could send somebody to Siberia, you're NOT not gonna take that opportunity.
What's for dinner? Why, it's only an over-sized portion of the latest endangered species! How oversized? Like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CHEESECAKE FACTORY portions-oversized. I wash that down with tears of African Children that have been purified 69 times, because 69 is a hilarious number. This will all be prepared by Emeril Lagassi, but here's the catch. Every time he serves me, (EVERY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TIME!) I look down at the plate, slowly look back up, stare blankly in front of me, then scream "WHAT IS THIS ♥♥♥♥♥? YOU'RE PAST YOUR PRIME." I proceed by throwing the food all over Emeril. At this point (this is the best part) I pull my ♥♥♥♥ out and slap him in the face, and force him to yell out his signature catchphrase "BAM!" every time. It's not gay because he's the one touching MY ♥♥♥♥. Emeril would leave, but the money is too good.
What else do you need to know, peon?
I am the 1%. I'm the Man. Okay.
https://soundcloud.com/alexmashup/dad-zone
https://soundcloud.com/user-818422490/meanwhile-at-grillbys
https://soundcloud.com/user-818422490/meanwhile-at-grillbys


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