Duckanism

Duckanism
Praise be the Duck!
Welcome dear friend! Today you are here because you wish to learn more about: Duckanism. Duckanism is the sacred religion of Prophet Matthew T. Carpenter Jr. Praise Matthew T. Carpenter Jr, son of his father, son of his father, son of the Hand Duck. Matthew T. Carpenter Jr has been renamed as, The Almighty Duck Lord. The Duck Lord created the Duckanism community and expanded it across the galaxy. In doing so, he had great wars against the Yellow Chickens. Many believed the Yellow Chickens to be the Duckanism Community, but The Almighty Duck Lord arranged his great Duck Armies and destroyed the Yellow Chickens in such a way that the religion was forgotten by all except The Almighty Duck Lord himself. And now you, Duckling. By reading this history of the Duckanism Community you will become a Duckling. Ducklings are the beginners of the great sacred community. All Ducklings that are loyal soon become Duck Masters, well, if you call 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years of being in the community little… No worries though! Upon joining the higher levels of the community and passing the great tests we make you a Ducker! A Ducker is the second rank of being in the Duckanism Community. You can choose to become a sacred Duck Warrior in this rank. All Duck Warriors fight for the freedom of all Duckanists across the galaxy. All Duckers study further into the great history of the Duckanism Community and expand it further across the galaxy by teaching their knowledge to Ducklings. After many years of being in the community and earning the trust of superiors Duckers advance to be Ducks. Ducks are like Duckers but they study the Duck Magic, as an apprentice of Duckerers. After 20 years of studying the Duck Magic. The Duck Magic allows access to many realms across the galaxy, including The Great Duck God realm, but once in this realm, you may only get as far as the gate. Past the gate, only Rubber Duckys and higher may roam, as the grounds are sacred. Throughout your belief in the Duckanism Community you will advance through the ranks. The highest ranks, as you probably guessed are Duck Masters and Rubber Duckys, Rubber Ducky being the truly highest rank before Rainbow Rubber Ducky, the second hand of The Almighty Duck Lord thyself there are many other ranks but these are the main ones. The Military of Duckanism is very powerful and has most of the other ranks. Only 50 Rubber Duckys exist of the trillions of people already part of the Duckanism Community. Anyone under your rank must first bow to you and then ask for permission to speak when within the Ducky Fortress unless given permission not to by one of higher rank. All of lesser rank must follow any order given by anyone of rank Ducky Apprentice Stage 3 or higher. Failure to do so will result in either arrest or execution, the choice depends on who it is that you disobeyed.
Thank you for reading this shortened history and information booklet on the Duckanism Community and joining as a Duckling.
Remember, we always know where you are at any time or anywhere, We Are Always Watching.
Praise Be The Duck
~Great Duck Lord and Rainbow Rubber Ducky
Many Thanks To Rainbow Rubber Ducky (Santiago Cruz) For Finishing This Pamphlet!