The official unofficial DeepSpacePizza Fanpage

ALL HAIL THE PIZZA! - 20406.75 Ov

Hello, loyal disciples of the Church of the Pizza! Before I welcome you into the new age once more, I must first address something: I've had a lot of people whining at me over where we've been over the past few months (Not really, I'm just pretending people read this ♥♥♥♥♥). While it may have been a long time in your respective realm, I may need to specify YET AGAIN; that we use Olives now. Not your crappy years, seconds or pizza forbid microfortnights.

It may have seemed like a long time since the last holy mantra was expelled from the bowels of our steam group, but I assure you, it was just an illusion perpetuated by your feeble minds. Now, leeeet's get riiiight into the newwwws!

The FIFA 16 championships have begun in realm 16, professional gamers, fans and even myself have come together as a collective to not give a ♥♥♥♥ about football. My apologies, but we must devote at least a sentence to what his Lord and Cheesy deems newsworthy in the multiverse.

Now onto what I want to talk about so I stop getting hatemail telling me to kill myself, I am going to tell you the method to calculating the current multiversal time, in Olives, so you can do it on the comfort of your own home (You know what else you could (and should) be doing in your own home? (Wow, nested brackets, I know, right?) Worshiping his Lord and Cheesy! Buy your limited edition prayer mat now or face the concequences!)

To calculate the current Olive Date of the multiverse: Take the current radius of the visible universe in all directions, averaged across relams 0, 35.78, 1104,69 and 34.xx and multiply it by however many copies of the latest Call of Duty game has sold so far and divide by the third infinity. Once you've done this, weigh up the pros and cons surrounding your life and shoot up you nearest school in the name of his lord and cheesy vote for trump in the upcoming American election. Once the results have come out, tally up the people who voted for the winning candidate (in the event that the winning candidate is Donald Trump, subtract your vote from the total and proceed to swiftly and efficently end your life. Congratulations, you're part of the problem.) In all other cases, subtract the tally from the result of your previous calculations. Keep this number in your head. For the sake of formating we'll call this number 'n'. Next, download unturned and play it for 'n' hours. After 'n' hours have elapsed, count the number of self inflicted wounds you have made on your body as a result of playing unturned for 'n' hours and then divide 'n' by this number to find your boredom coeffecient and then take this coeffecient and become a professional blacksmith. Once you have mastered your craft, spend the remainder of David Cameron's life forging a blade made of your condensed boredom coeffecient. Once the blade has been forged successfully, become fluid in the basics of swordplay and then bring shame to your family. There are many ways to do this, but I find showing up to actual fanpage meetings naked works perfectly well. Once this is done and you are in exile, take your sword and kill your immediate family. This includes pets. Keep in mind that should one of them die to any hand other than yours, you must restart the whole process over again. Once the massacre has ensued, count the total drops of blood shed by your kin (Double the number for pets and children). Next divide this number by 'n' (I told you to keep it in mind) and congratulations, you have the current date in Olives. Your life may or may not also be in ruins, but that's why we have slaves experts to do it for you.

That paragraph got out of hand fast.

So, onto upcoming events:

20415.37 Ov : Unselective reincarnation (Realm 666)
20420.00 Ov : Universal blazing (All realms)
20435.78 Ov : Fundraiser (Realm 56)
20438.01 Ov : Fundspender (All realms)
20440.34 Ov : Estimated peacekeeper departure (Realm 240.24)

ALL HAIL THE PIZZA!