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B R O K E N ☹♡ Broken☂♡
STEAM GROUP
B R O K E N ☹♡ Broken☂♡
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12 October, 2017
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broken stori☂♡
There was a small moment in which I thought I was gonna be okay, but then it all came crashing down. My heart was taken and shattered, my head was filled with so many questions yet to be answered, and all of a sudden I was losing everyone.
I sit here, looking back on it now, and it hurts...a lot. I don't see how this could happen. But I really shouldn't be surprised, it happens all the time actually. I get happy, for a while and then boom, it all comes crashing down. And every time it hurts more.

It started with an agreement. I agreed to be his ♥♥♥♥ toy, and that was a huge mistake. He kissed me and suddenly I found my self addicted to it, needing more, wanting more. I would be with him whenever I could, learning more about him, falling more in love with him, we would sneak off and have sex, he would say he loves me and make so many promises to be there, even if in the end this doesn't work. This became our thing. Saying I love you and pinky promising on it. Then suddenly things change. I don't know why or how, but it does. For some reason, he will barley talk to me, or look at me. He has so little care in holding my hand and when he does, it doesn't feel the same. He is distant, quiet, And it un-nerves me, scares me even. He leaves and I cry, waiting for the moment he decides to leave. I call him and he say's he can't do this anymore. That he doesn't love me anymore. I cry harder than I have in a long time. I try taking my life, but then instantly regret it. I see him the next day, and he treats me like a stranger. What did I do? Why are you doing this? I feel guilty as if I did something wrong.

He barley looks at me, let alone talk. I lost the one person I felt remotely close to, the one person who helped with my depression, the one person who made me smile.

a week pasts, I'm kinda better, but there are moments I break, and can't help but fall to my knee's in defeat. he kind of talks to me now, but you can tell he doesn't want to. He never wants to anymore.

another week pasts, and I get off the phone with my father, he just said he no longer wants to be apart of my life, that he doesn't want to see me. and I go back to hurting. Like I said, I start to be slightly happy, and something happens to ruin it for me. He hasn't talked to me in awhile, this is the longest we have gone without talking, my father and I...
I don't know why, I don't know why people don't want to be in my life or be there, or why they leave, but it hurts like a ♥♥♥♥♥, and I just want it all to stop...I want to be loved and wanted, I don't want to lose anyone else. I'm tired of losing people. I'm tired of it all....
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ximit 21 Sep @ 6:50pm 
:lotdcdeath: 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝟰 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 :lotdcdeath:
greek femboys only fans 17 Aug @ 12:28pm 
It was around a year ago, i have been talking with a guy that i had met in my favourite game. He came to defend me when some people were harasing me in my comments. Out of this we started talking, a lot, i always enjoyed our conversations and we were very alike, we always got along, as time went by he was my support in multiple things especially psycologically, he had this unmatched energy, i thought it was god sent, i never let that person go away, i knew that only him existing in my sad reality,
greek femboys only fans 17 Aug @ 12:28pm 
trying to talk to me even when i was on my lowest and it was unfortunately always, at this point i have a history of long depression and i am not hiding it anymore, as time moves on by we started having feelings to each other, i got scared and i blocked him at christmas, i was afraid to let anyone enter my world, i was afraid that he was going to leave me if he actually saw in it, i was thinking that he was going to leave me in the end just like most people do when they see difficult nowadays, i always felt that nobody can survive in my world, i do not know why am i even alive at this point but i don't want to die yet.
greek femboys only fans 17 Aug @ 12:28pm 
He seemed strong and he seemed like hope. I came back to him and i told him that i like him but we should never talk again, i told him to protect himself and move on. I told him to not come close to me, but he didn't listened, he is really stubborn. He came back, he did something very nice that nobody has so far, he wished me happy name day for my celebration with a heart, i was thinking of it all day. I added him back. I felt safe, happy, i felt that i matter when i saw his first message back, i felt hope.
greek femboys only fans 17 Aug @ 12:27pm 
. I told him that i hurt a lot, and that i am a very difficult person, i am always worried and hurt, i need reassurance, i need a bit more of effort than normal, after all don't we all?. I warned him one more time, i told him don't leave me. He promised he won't. I believed him. We were together for 8 months. We usually fight a lot, but we always fixed things. I always tried my best, i gave everything i had, but he doesn't know, some things cannot be said by words. He also is a difficult person, there were times i wanted to give up but i saw at the future, a future where we can comeback everything and be together and never say goodbye. We were not perfect but i really love him. I was not desparate, i didn't stayed with him because i was desperate or because i did not had any other options...
greek femboys only fans 17 Aug @ 12:27pm 
i always had options but i knew that they would be a dream that would backfire and stab me if i followed it, that's also something he doesn't know. I don't know what happened to us. As time went by especially the last month that we were together we fight a lot, i went to his place for 5 days and i gave more than 900 euro so we can come by, life is expensive, it's really expensive it hurts. But as i came back i realise that he did not got me anything at 8 months that we are together, he did not even saved money to pay once, he didn't got me a gift or some flowers even if i was keep asking for some for quite some time. But he did spend all of his money on smoking...
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12 October, 2017