Recent reviews by tekyuinajar

Turning back the clock, Traansformers: WfC is a reboot of the 80's classic robot epic, showing how things escalated in the late days of the Cybertronian Civil War.

This game pulls no punches as you have two complete, sequential campaigns as Autobots and Decepticons. As you blast and smash your way through opposition, you'll come across many familiar faces and more importantly some awe-inspiring obstacles in bosses like Omega Supreme and Trypticon.

It's fairly "Gears of War" like with the same chest-high walls, multi-person squad shooter thing, but transformation mixes things up a bit. It's not a perfect shooter, but it's the best Transformers game to date without question. Decent multiplayer tops off a surprisingly solid package for a licensed product and marks High Moon as a force to be watched carefully. Enjoy War for Cybertron, at worst expect to have some fun, weep with nostalgia and shoot all the things. Then turn into a truck/jet/car/tank and shoot them some more!

You can fling poo in the first minute of gameplay. It's true. I have done it.

While some criticize to an extreme, I adore DNF. It's incredibly dumb, violent, crude, gross, pointless, sexist, ignorant and juvenile. Those elemnts probably comprise its greatest charm! Gearbox and some chums swept the pieces of DNF 3DRealms left on the floor and slapped the ends together. This development strategy is present often throughout the game as the levels each represent bizarre disconnect from one another. Not really important until you see the dumb stuff turn to horrifying, mentally scarring and nightmare inducing stuff and then back to beer farts. Weird.

It's not the open exploration treat the original games represented, but there's fun to be had in screwing with things, messing with people, playing pinball and washing down steroids with beer. It plays like Duke-on-rails by comparison, but it worth one or two playthroughs.

Just don't bother with multiplayer as it is the worst kind of crap.

As messed up as the original was, Puzzle Agent 2 is entirely what you'd expect from the original and more. Seriously. Messed. Up.

Agent Tethers goes back to the sleepy town of Scoggins to unravel the core of the mystery behind the freaky forest gnomes, the local cult, the freakish obsession with puzzles and... Astronauts? Yes, they even dabble in freaking Astronauts.

The puzzles are the same addictive time sinks, but a few stand out there in terms of difficulty. The creepy brand of humor is as funny as ever and you walk away with more answers than you might expect. On the downside, it's really short just like the first one so weigh your perverse interest in puzzles against your desire for a good laugh and then just buy the freakin' game. It's funny, okay?

Buy it!

Without skipping a beat in this epic tale, ME2 jumps in with a massive mind blow and forces you to work closely with one of Shepard's greatest foes. The story and the ability to influence events are still intact and your save game result from ME1 actually transfer over, inspiring frequent replayability!

While the visuals are better than ever, the guns are bigger and squad grown to a full dirty dozen prepped for a suicide mission... the game has a couple of flaws. Primarily, the fact that the RPG element is unsettlingly absent or at least not to the same extent that it was present in ME!.

In embracing the shooter aspect over the RPG, a little bit of Mass Effect's magic is lost, but you won't notice for 5-10 playthroughs as you'll be tearing through the galaxy and enjoying yourself too much to care. It's a top-notch solid shooter that is just over the top and worth playing. Just be wary about ME3...

Mass Effect is, witout exception, the greatest sci-fi RPG ever crafted. This title alone rocked my world and put me down the path to obsessive replay after replay.

A stupidly huge galaxy awaits you with varying levels of evil or heroic things to accomplish as you use your special space sherriff status, squad of able warriors (alien and human, arsenal of awesome weapons, various psychic abilites and big @$$ tank thing that drives up vertical surfaces to bring down Saren, a renegade spectre agent that aims to bring forth the end of all organic life.

There's an absurd amount of stuff to see and do... and shoot.

It challenges RPG standards by having a heavy amount of player agency decide the outcome of the game and its respetive set pieces. This leads to how you achieve your ultimate goal, by heroic defending the galaxy or shooting everyone in your way, including some of your comrades if needed? The first in the current trilogy is the finest made, while somewhat glitchy, it is superb.

Savage violence, rampant cursing and non-stop explosions. Could be worse. Although, the end result of all this could be BETTER and have like "depth" or something, but a mindless gun-wank of a game goes it's pretty fun!

As a guy with a serious drinking problem, you and your cyborg pal go on a rampage across a mutant infested resort to take some complaints to a former employer who crashed on the same planet. Along the way you pick up a female friend who enjoys the topic of male genital mutilation, a bizarre whip gadget with mulitple sadistic uses, and lots of alcohol that makes your shots more colorful and challenging.

The game is amusing enough in an arcade-y fashion where the more brutal and viciously you murder people affects your score. It's also pretty funny as long as you can overlook the barrage of F-bombs in lieu of dialogue and the taxing repetition of murder sprees in lieu of variety.

If you have the original DOOM or DOOM 2, you don't need this. Then again, if you have a soft spot for DOS-based, old school shooters or games with Star Wars themes then this might be right up your alley.

I compare it to DOOM because that's clearly what they were aping when they made this, the strange mental image you have now won't be aided by the dusty bleep and bloop sounds coupled with the MIDI music that will make you chuckle.

It's a decent shooter all around and probably a more appropriate use of the SW License than say, SW: Force Unleashed 2. However nostalgia only takes one so far, so depending on how well you can stomach grainy, awful visuals with goofy, choppy audio is entirely up to your level of tolerance. I had a lot of fun with this on my Playstation and I'm just as pleased now. Granted, it hasn't aged well, so take that into consideration should you give it a spin.

Marooned on a ship, surrounded by impossible monsters and cut off from your friends; Isaac is having a lousy day.

To make things extra grotesque, you defend yourself with futuristic cutting/welding/digging tools and NOT weapons per se so all the dismembering you do will be of a more personal nature. If you find the thoughr of driving a chainsaw through a legion of monsters chasing you through a derelict spaceship appealing, then keep your fork because there's pie... AND DEATH! Scary moments stacked up with with tricks of light, sounds in the dark and frequent ghoulie encounters keep you on edge for more.

If you love sci-fi with ghastly, over-the-top horror and violence... THIS requires your attention. DS provides far too many scares for casual gamers and a moderate challenge for veterans making it a worthy addition to any seasoned gamers library that needs dismemberment. It lacks SOME gameplay polish, but it makes up for it with gusto and guts. Ew.

Plant assorted defensive/offensive uh, PLANTS in a strategic fashion to deal with the zombie legions rushing your house.

Like Peggle, PvZ is a game with mysterious powers wherein you start playing in the morning and when you "decide" to stop it's already two years later... in the evening!!! It's funny, fun, engaging, rewarding and all kinds of weird addictive things that keep your coming back like the junkie you are. There's all manner of entertaining, mixed play modes and minigames that accompany the primary house defense campaign so even when you're done... it won't let you leave.

Resist if you can, but a veritable "donkey island" awaits so when you NEED to outright murder half a day's time, PvZ will be here waiting for you. With Twiddydinkies in hand...

A dream realized for those in the midst of dealing with dog poop, floor-based laundry and comical/fatal effect with anvils.

Portal takes the application of physics in gaming as a concept... and then goes absolutely batsh*t insane. Armed with a gun that can only fire two connecting portals anywhere, a malfunctioning and evil/funny computer puts you to task in overcoming "tests" it has laid out for you where you must gradually overcome amusingyl difficult and increasingly dangerous puzzles.

It's practically a perfect game that doesn't overstay its welcome with overly padded crap, nor does it leave you unsatisfied as an amazing story unfolds within a mysterious, ruined lab and a series of failed predecessors who were not so fortunate in their testing.

Portal is amazing on its own, but it's best in its natural environment with the rest of the orange box. If you don't already own portal, fix that now. It's that good and you'll never look at cake the same again.