those who praise

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CUZ I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE GUY THAT KILLED YOU!

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WE ARE TRUE HOMIE'S...
WE RIDE TOGETHER...
WE DIE TOGETHER...
Send this gun to everyone you care about including me if you care about me. See how many times you get this

❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤

Braxton, i'm probably like twice your age so the kisses even though you said they're platonic they are kinda innapropriate 😅

I have not slept since February. Every night at exactly 3:17am I am visited by what I can only describe as an ‘interdimensional IRS agent.’ He sits at the foot of my bed, audits my dreams, and demands I provide receipts for every thought I have ever had. I give him what I can, mostly gas station receipts for Monster and Slim Jims, but he always shakes his head and writes something in his little cosmic notepad. Yesterday he told me I was being fined three lifetimes worth of intergalactic space credits

I begged him for leniency, but instead he forced me to pay. Now every time I blink, I see him doing the victory dance, hips swaying like some celestial metronome, mocking me. My friends think I’m exaggerating, but I can assure you: the penalty for improper bookkeeping was severe. I can no longer digest bread. Please, if you see a tall man with glowing bifocals and a briefcase that hums like a microwave, tell him I’ve started keeping my receipts. Please.

The great futanari crusade has blessed me. I was picked up by their scout class UFO and chosen for their sacred impregnation ritual. They told me I was going to be the bearer of their new Queen. This honor would require I eventually sacrifice my life. Of course I accepted. They were quick to test me... I had to undergo surgery to survive their... tests... I would be filled to my maximum capacity with their seed, daily. I would be filled, drained, filled ... drained... Daily. Their precious seed would transcend my being from a pitiful human to their ALPHA race futanari godhood. Their divine seed filling me to the brim would be my only sustenance for the rest of my meek life. I chose this. I needed this. I am made divine in the bringing of their God Queen. Forget me as you knew me. I am free.