Recent reviews by Sazor

Here and there are fantastic open levelled missions where you can choose whatever method you want to kill your target. These are small highlights which are overshadowed by the heaping piles of human game design trash which the rest of the game represents. These small missions are like the potato salad in Ethiopia. It's good and all, but the rest of the country is starving. So, other than these missions, which are kinda fun but nowhere near as good as their Blood Money counterparts, how's the rest of Hitman: Absolution?

Worse than testicular cancer, which was only diagnosed during your surgery for testicular torsion. Worse than breast cancer when you already have small boobs. Worse than being deported from Washington to Somalia. It's like being murdered. but before you're murdered, you have to sit through a cutscene that takes longer than it actually takes to kill you. And once you're dead, you're forced to watch another cutscene, before you can ascend to heaven. Not even good cutscenes, with a solid story. Garbage cutscenes. Imagine watching Nic Cage's Left Behind (2% Review Score on Rotten Tomatoes). Over and over and over. And when you're not watching it, you're playing Bad Rats. This game could only be worse if you had to pay more than £10 for it. Oh wait. You do.

I would only recommend purchasing this game if your name cannot be disclosed for National Security reasons and you're looking for new torture methods for Guantanamo.