I wish I knew how to make this work. I really wanted this to work.
Well, this message is getting too long, so I'll say goodbye.

I hope you find the person you're looking for, K., because it sure wasn't me.

Love, K

I will need more time off. I don't think I'm ready for the real world. There is no one out there who will save me. I'm so sorry, K. I'm ashamed for being so needy. I don't blame you for losing interest. If there ever was any. Your words and actions didn't align.

Nearly everyone around me, including Shelly, has said that I should leave. I couldn't bring myself to leave. I fear being abandoned, yet I hate the idea of being so dependent on someone that any minor action would affect me immediately. Whether that be ruin or happiness.

Through K, I have learned that I am a very anxiously attached person. I rushed into this relationship because I felt like I was never enough. By trying to be selfless and prioritize my partner's needs, I unknowingly pushed them away. By doing too much. By showing too much. I have never felt truly desired in my entire life. This is mostly because I was unattractive and never knew what healthy attention was supposed to feel like. I am sorry for being the person that I am. I don't know how to improve or how to make you understand my needs and flaws. I wish I had known myself better before making you go through all this. Dating an avoidant person has impacted my mental and physical health three times more than dating a "normal" person would.

I think about dying so often that it feels like second nature.

Snow settles softly
Moonlight makes the path feel clear
Stay steady, stay strong

Date. It was okay. Remember 24?