Recent reviews by riff

Club Penguin for people with Source engine autism.

I recommend this game. I absolutely recommend this game. I think it's absolutely worth the money. But I still need to put a disclaimer in front of all of this: Tower Unite is "out", but it is far from complete.

I maintain that this game should not be in 1.0. It's clear that the devs wanted to just get it over with - be able to SAY their game is in its fully realized state - but it is not. A number of things had to be quietly cut for them to present it as such - things they claim to still be working on.
Tower Unite is, I think, a case of unbridled scope creep. I will not blame the developers for dreaming big, and I won't blame them either for later saying "okay, we overpromised, we can't get these things done in a timely manner". I fully understand. I'll always give credit where it's due: I greatly appreciated the "Road to 1.0" updates, too. Those were the developers going back and implementing some very, very long overdue changes, and I genuinely felt listened to, even if it took until the last minute. The amount of content and mechanical depth DOES steadily expand, and almost always for the better, but it's still never in a clear direction. There are so many abandoned threads that have been just... quietly swept under the rug for 1.0. It's pretty disappointing.

So, should you get the game? ♥♥♥♥ yeah, you should get the game. Just don't go in expecting it to be a "1.0" quality product - it's very, very clearly still a work in progress. It may as well still be in early access, with how much the developers still have on their plate. I fully expect it to basically take the Minecraft route and undergo regular significant changes for the foreseeable future, even after its 1.0 release. If you take issue with that, then I'm sorry. I guess the game isn't for you. But I don't really see things that way. I'm more than excited to watch the game steadily evolve, even at its iconic snail's pace, and even after it calls itself "1.0".

almost everything about this dlc is phenomenal and absolutely worth it. i'm giving it an angry wall of text because of blind pest. blind pest is the only reason i still play runs with the expansion disabled. it has soured the entire experience of the game for me (even though the rest of the DLC makes up for it) and that is why i can't in good conscience recommend the expansion to anyone without warning them about blind pest first.

blind pest is a small, common flying enemy with a somewhat unreasonable amount of hp for its size and spawn rate. it spawns in swarms like lesser wisps, hits as hard as a brass contraption (very), and fires about as often as lemurians shoot their fireballs (very). they have the most smug ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ grin frozen on their face while they bounce around joyfully in the air, reveling in your misery. there is absolutely no reason for them to be as big of a "♥♥♥♥ you" to the player as they are.

dealing with them requires knowing where any and all blind pests are around you at all times, and prioritizing them above almost every other enemy. when you have to temporarily deal with a different enemy you still have to be conscious of blind pest, because any single one of them could instantly take about 1/3 of your health bar if their projectile hits you. if it's an elite blind pest, you have to hard focus it, because it WILL one shot you if you don't. you have to make sure you are circling them as best as you can, no matter what you are doing. simply staying mobile isn't enough. and if you're surrounded- which you usually are when a group of them spawns- then ♥♥♥♥ you, i guess!

i hate every single DLC stage solely because blind pest can spawn on them, and the fact that it can spawn on rallypoint delta means that stage too is now ruined for me. i want to like these stages but i just can't.
especially sulfur pools. ♥♥♥♥ sulfur pools. all my homies hate sulfur pools. it runs like ♥♥♥♥. all the other DLC stages are beautiful and well optimized and sulfur pools is the standout. probably due to what looks like HEAVY volumetric fog effects and bloom that could blind a man, as well as the usual performance pitfalls like too many unbatched meshes and materials.
given that the 3 DLC stages are allowed to happen back-to-back starting with stage 1, and ALL of them have blind pest- i usually either just disable the expansion or reset when i get siphoned forest for stage 1, depending on the character i'm playing.

are blind pests manageable? with most characters and builds, yes- captain's passive trivializes them, even. is the game still fun with them? overall, hell yes. are they fun to fight? hell no.

i highly recommend this DLC, but if you want to actually have fun playing any of the stages it adds, download r2modman and get a mod to replace blind pest with lesser wisp or something. the game is better without them. i would do it too, but i'm a purist ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and would feel like i'm "cheating" since it's "not intended"

its like a sword that can kill gods and solve world hunger and perform unimaginable miracles, but i just need it to slice some bread real quick

why didn't i ever do this before

cool game but idk i dont see myself playing it for any considerable length of time :/

as i write this review i'm sitting at 4 achievements left. this game has ruined my life. i cannot put it down. everything about it is so stylish, so simple in concept, but the depth- the sheer amount of silly ♥♥♥♥ you can pull off in this game- it's unparalleled. i love this game too much.

don't make me change my mind, gearbox.

i pizzaed my tower so hard just now

*vine boom* *vine boom* *vine boom* *vine boom* *vine boom* *vine boom* ♥♥♥♥ *vine boom* *vine boom* *vine boom* *braappp* *braaaaap* *discord notification sound* up your ASS up your AAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS *poison.ogg* *oregon trail dun dun dun* whoops you have to put the CD up your ♥♥♥♥♥ *vine boom*

the software lifecycle. pre-alpha, alpha, beta, release, golden age, go public and/or get bought out by a multibillion dollar company, do something everyone hates, suffer absolutely no consequences as people continue to use your software simply because there's no alternative. repeat the final 2 steps until the end of time

this game makes me want to rip my hair out