Recent reviews by MuckMan

You ever played Fast Food Frenzy?

No? Good. You still have hope in your soul.

I picked it up during lockdown. Thought, “Hey, looks cute. Flip some burgers. Live the low-stakes life.” ♥♥♥♥ me sideways — this game should come with a therapist and a tetanus shot.

It starts normal. Grill a patty. Toast a bun. Smile for the customer. But by Day Two, I’m deep in grease, my NPC co-worker is OD’ing on expired soft serve, and the soda machine just exploded because I looked at it wrong.

The customers? Oh, the customers. One guy ordered 34 McChickens, ate them in the parking lot, and came back in to ♥♥♥♥ on the floor. Said it was a “spiritual protest.” Another lady screamed that her Diet Coke tasted “too aggressive.” I cried. The game made me cry.

And there’s a rat named Todd who runs a black-market ketchup ring out of the freezer. I joined him by week three. Needed the extra income to afford in-game Advil.

But you know what? I stuck it out. Seven in-game years. I clawed my way up from Fry ♥♥♥♥♥ to Head Grill Daddy. You think it was easy? I’ve seen teens vape into the fryer like it’s a damn volcano. I’ve used a spatula to fend off a seagull in the dining room. I’ve unclogged a toilet so evil it laughed at me.

Then real life came calling.

The McDonald’s down the street — manager overdosed on hash browns and ennui. Store was bleeding cash, staffed entirely by 16-year-olds with scoliosis and active hate for the concept of labor. So I walked in, in my Fast Food Frenzy hoodie, eyes twitching, and I said, “Put me in, coach. I’ve grilled in the digital trenches.”

They didn’t even interview me. Just handed me the keys and a panic button.

Now I run that place. Two fryers. Three grills. One loaded .38 in the break room in case the ice cream machine starts talking again. I rule with a greasy fist. You clock in late? I deep fry your timecard. You sass me on headset? I excommunicate you from nugget rotation.

Last week a customer called me “just a manager.” I laughed so hard I blacked out and woke up at Arby’s. I don’t even remember the drive.

This game… this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game taught me how to lead. How to suffer. How to smile while a toddler throws pickles at my crotch. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Except maybe dental. Or death.

I'm concerned due to the lack of LGTBQ+ pals in the game. Do better palworld.

10/10 best game invented since modern times. Can you add some runescape tunes into the game, would love it since there is a crossover. Also - nerf the water lord.

Smite 2 has everything you need to overwhelm your dopamine receptors to the point of no return. I give this game a 5 stars. My only concern... Where did all the runescape stuff go. Like My credit card is ready and waiting Hi-Rez Studios, once you get the OSRS skins back in the game - im yours.