YOU SWINE. YOU VULGAR LITTLE MAGGOT. YOU WORTHLESS BAG OF FILTH. AS WE SAY IN TEXAS, YOU COULDN'T POUR WATER OUT OF A BOOT WITH INSTRUCTIONS PRINTED ON THE HEEL. YOU ARE A CANKER, AN OPEN WOUND. I WOULD RATHER KISS A LAWYER THAN BE SEEN WITH YOU. YOU TOOK YOUR LAST VACATION IN THE ISLETS OF LANGERHANS. YOU'RE A PUTRESCENT MASS, A WALKING VOMIT. YOU ARE A SPINELESS LITTLE WORM DESERVING NOTHING BUT THE PROFOUNDEST CONTEMPT. YOU ARE A JERK, A CAD, AND A WEASEL. I TAKE THAT BACK; YOU ARE A FESTERING PUSTULE ON A WEASEL'S RUMP. YOUR LIFE IS A MONUMENT TO STUPIDITY. YOU ARE A STENCH, A REVULSION, AN OVERFLOWING LATRINE, A BIG SUCK ON A SOUR LEMON. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE EMBARRASSMENT OF BELONGING TO THE SAME SPECIES AS YOU. YOU ARE A MONSTER, AN OGRE, A MALFORMITY. I BARF AT THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU. YOU HAVE ALL THE APPEAL OF A PAPER CUT. LEPERS AVOID YOU. YOU ARE VILE, WORTHLESS, LESS THAN NOTHING. YOU ARE A WEED, A FUNGUS, A STINKING SNOTRAG, THE DREGS OF THIS EARTH. YOU ARE A TECHNICOLOR YAWN. AND DID I MENTION THAT YOU SMELL YOU ARE A SQUEAKING RAT, A MISTAKE OF NATURE AND A HEAVY-METAL BAGPIPE PLAYER. YOU WERE NOT BORN. YOU WERE HATCHED INTO AN UNWILLING WORLD THAT REJECTS THE LIKES OF YOU. YOU DIDN'T CRAWL OUT OF A NORMAL EGG, EITHER, BUT RATHER A MUTANT MAGGOT EGG REJECTED BY AN EVIL SCIENTIST AS BEING BELOW HIS LOW STANDARDS. YOUR ALLEGED PARENTS ABANDONED THEIR BASTARD WHELP AT BIRTH AND THEN DIED OF SHAME IN RECOGNITION OF WHAT THEY HAD DONE TO AN UNSUSPECTING WORLD. GO EAT ♥♥♥♥ AND DIE.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.

You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won't make it. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world which became unbearable when the bioterrorists designed you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, pinguid, and Generally Not Good.