You don't like scat? Ehh, I can see why, but it just takes a few small tweaks to make it palatable.
Imagine you have a cute robot girl who was engineered by the finest chocolateers. She eats cocoa beans and such, and poops out logs of rich milk chocolate. However, she is programmed to think that it's normal poop, and she's disgusted at the thought of someone eating it. Just imagine the look of utter disgust on her face as you beg her to let you watch her poop on a tray for you, and the horrified look as she watches you eagerly eat it, happily licking up every bit. Eventually, she starts to enjoy it, treating you like the toilet you are, calling you a disgusting pervert, so desperate to eat her poop that you're willing to be her slave. A toilet like you doesn't deserve real food. Sometimes she'll reward you by letting you lick her butt clean after she's had chocolate diarrhea. You beg her to let you lick her feet too, but she doesn't your disgusting poop-covered tongue on her feet.

"You just love to push all my buttons don't you?"
"It's like an elevator. I like pressing all the buttons."
"That joke was wrong on so many levels."
-Some comments 10 years ago on KnowYourMeme

[after talking about a guy named Ryan, who Colton was playing with earlier]
Colton: [accidentally calls me Ryan]... yeah, I'm going to get that mixed up a lot.
Bryan: As long as you don't spell it with a Y.
Colton: ...well I might have some bad news for you.
[one awkward silence later]
Bryan: Wait a minute... I guess my name does have a Y in it. Huh.

(Playing Void Crew during the free weekend:)
RenergizeLife (Helm): Could you get the, uh-
blah1 (Engineer): The Thruster Boosters?
RenergizeLife: Yeah, those.
blah1: If you want to be more concise and unambiguous, you could just say "Boost me daddy~".
RenergizeLife: I am NOT saying that.

The earth without art is just "eh"
-Some kid with sidewalk chalk

Worst case, I'd guess we could fix global warming by adding a very small dose of "nuclear winter"; just 2-3 nukes should do. We'd have to aim them somewhere that wouldn't retaliate and send nukes back... So I'd say that nuking Antarctica would be the best way to save the glaciers.