Started playing CS2 to relax after work… 600 hours later I can recite the Russian alphabet backwards while being called things that would get me arrested in five countries. My mental health? Collateral damage. My vocabulary? 90% vodka, 10% war crimes.

Every match is either:
– Rush B or perish,
– Getting one-tapped by a guy named “Putin’s Nephew”,
– Or arguing with a 12-year-old who sounds like he’s chain-smoking diesel.

I haven’t touched Duolingo in months, yet I’m fluent in Slavic rage.

Recommended? Да, but only if your therapist speaks Russian.