There is nothing you can do about it. You are how you are, and she is how she is. Things will go as they do. Relax. It'll be okay. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights, the sky, the world. You're still alive. It's okay to take a few minutes to yourself. Sit down. Breathe. Subdue the regrets, dust yourself off, and proceed. You'll get it in the next life, where you don't make mistakes. Do what you can with this one, while you're alive. Stay the course. You will make it someday.