Recent reviews by Happy Gilmore

So boring. So broken.

Wow. Mount and Blade wishses it was this.

Fallout:Shelter in 3D...

If my AMD driver stops crashing, this game will go back to being the best thing to happen to my life. Until then, it's become unplayable and my life has no meaning.

In response to all the positive reviews:

Hour 000: Purchase on sale, "Sweet!". Create character like any RPG.

Hour 000.1: Party of 15 men slaughtered by random gang of deserters on armored horses. Taken prisoner, lose all items, money, followers, army, pride.

Hour 000.3: Character escapes in the night. Back at square one, actually square zero because I now have even less than I began with...

Hour 001: Create new character. Start in new area. Avoid forests, stick to main quest line.

Hour 001.5: Have small force of ~20, infantry and archers, feeling good. Wait.......

Hour 001.6: Taken prisoner. Time to play something else.....

Next Day

Hour 002: New character. Start in different area. Not getting raped this time. Recruit semi decent force.

Hour 002.5: Taken prisoner.

Hour 003: New character. Female.

Hour 004: ................

Hour 005: New character. Read guide on Steam.

Hour 005.1: Taken prisoner.

Next Day

Hour 005.2: Letzgo.

Hour 006: Taken prisoner. King Arthur I am not.

The game sucks me back in on the daily but seriously, it is so damn frustrating to build up a force only to have them completely overrun 2 minutes later. The AI just clumps and swarms on your character because there is no friendly damage apparently, so enemy blades just come flying at you through necks and torsos while your character apparently has a seizure. Even when you try to stay close to "home", you will be constantly harassed by larger groups of better equipped AI.

It is a very unique title with some really cool parts to it, but my inability to progress past the opening act, as it were, makes me think twice before booting up....

I NEVER Recommend.

UPDATE: THIS GAME SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. Total grind-fest for no reward. Everytime I boot it up again I remember why I hate this "game". Change the name to "Everyone is Bigger than You Simulator".

Best Milsim out there.