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Listen here PICKLE, I demand more jelly beans and this time I want them WITHOUT the added roofie. I could BARELY make my way back to my home after the watermelon jelly bean made me see sounds.

TELL ELMER HE OWES ME A TENNER FOR THAT POKER GAME...And your wallet.

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=(˚˕ 。 7
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じし ˍ,)づ

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You listen here you weeping turd, Elmer promised me all the TP if I stopped lathering your toilet seat with butter every morning. I thought I was doing you a FAVOR by allowing you to take a fresh popcorn smelling crap every morning.

As for your putrid tooth brush, the source of the herpes plague in town is because of YOU!!!!! You’re patient zero and Darla the gas station attendant is sick of you giving her and her grandma crabs. So I’ll drag my bum wherever I DAMN WELL PLEASE.

Remember, I have the footage of what you did to the senators son, I made sure not to turn off the cameras that day….:It’s closing in full circle, Pickle. Watch your back

Boo!

I’ll bump forearms too if I damn well please!!! I have two areas in life where I draw a line in the sand. Sand castle building and someone telling me when to bump cecums! This is almost strike three!!! I’ll let it slide since Elmer promised to deliver more toilet paper from your home….I haven’t had to buy tp in years!!

How many times do I have to teach you the same lesson??!!??? Next time you finish my lotion in ONE LONG self appreciation session, I’m gonna tell the warden. Strike TWO. TWO!!! Also, please sleep with your TOP ON. I’m sick of waking up to pepperoni nipples across my cell

I thought you'd appreciate a nice phallus, it was sent without malice. v_v

Look, we need to talk about the REAL problem here and he's orange and furry...SOMETIMES nice...He has a problem, PICKLES. GET HIM TO REHAB before the NEIGHBORS cat is affected by his HABITS. ALSO, next time you decide to pinch a loaf into the shower, WAFFLE STOMP IT DOWN THE DRAIN. I'm tired of seeing full formed turds in the tub.

DONT TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE PLUNGER LIKE THAT, it holds cereal AND strawberries. Mmmmmmm. If I CANT use Brittany (The plunger) then YOU CAN'T carpet drag your ass after clogging the toilet and using up the TP!!!! Its not pleasant waking up at night and feeling the soft mush underneath my bare feet when I JUST WANT TO GET SOME JUICE

*Holds stern eye contact, hand engulfed in pickle juice inside an EMPTY pickle jar*
mmmm Those pickles were delicious

nowhere in my contract does it state that I cannot relieve myself anywhere I please. Also that is discrimination against the medically handicapped and I will not stand for it. This is strike 2

Did you REALLY put that pfp?

I told you, Pickleman, NOT TO DIVULGE PERSONAL DETAILS in regards to MY large endowment. My penis, I'm talking about my penis here. You sit there and judge ALL YOU WANT but those crusty socks were SECONDS of hard work pouring into a cotton sack of love FOR U. IT WAS FOR U and here you sit calling them crusty and gross. When in FACT it was a TOKEN of my LOVE and APPRECIATION

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ヽ__つ_つ

I can't promise you that I'll be able to expunge Elmer's crime. . . I CAN promise you that I can remove the body from the driveway...Take a nice trip down South and provide an alibi

You must place your dirty adult diapers in the proper waste bin, I keep seeing them all over the recycle. You know the rules.

𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑑𝑎𝑦 ꨄ

I DEMAND SATISFACTION

I actually had to google that Jon but of course you would know the brand name of a herpes medication from your personal experience. I hope your "skin troubles" clear up and remember, try not to pass it along ;)

come back the kids miss you

There is copper under your skin.

Jon, I am shocked that you have mentioned certain misdeeds on a public platform.

The truth is……Screw that horsey ride and your subpar Kung fu. The mess was yours to clean up because that’s what I pay you for. Also, the deal was, only the CRUSTS of the slice of 1 bread. The audacity to demand more! Keep it up, and you won’t see your pickle ever again

its almos crimbo

yaaaaay games! :)

tickle the pickles?