I used to work at a seafood counter and we got a call in from a guy who wanted to order 5 whole sockeye salmons. When we ordered them in, who else but Jack Nicholson, sunglasses and all, came in to pick them up.

He personally inspected each one, commenting that he was looking for a salmon that had "perfect balance without sacrificing aerodynamics". Apparently he likes to drive around Los Angeles and launch fish off highway overpasses.

He complimented us on the quality of our seafood and slammed a few hundred dollar bills down on the counter. He told me to "go buy yourself some roller blades" while walking out the door with his fish.

....................,,-'´ . . . _,,,,,';:-,...................
....................,-(c\ \`;-=´,_,-~-, \`...............
..................,/ . . .¯'\, º ,/.'-~°,' .¯`'-,...........
................../ . . . . . .¯,_ ~--~',, . . .'\..........
.................| . . . . . . . . ¯¨¨¨(̅_̅_̅_̅((_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅i̲̅j̲̅u̲̅a̲̅n̲̅a̲̅̅_̅_̅_̅() ڪے
.................| . . . . . . . , . . . .`'-, . . . |..........
................/\ . . . . . . ."-,,,-'~-~' . . . '|..........
.............,/'`\,`'-, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . /\..........
░█▀▄░█░█░█▀█░░█▀▀░▀█▀░█▀▀░█▀█░
░█░█░█░█░█▀▀█░▀▀█░░█░░█▀▀░█▀▀░
░▀▀░░▀▀▀░▀▀▀▀░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀▀▀░▀░░░

░░░░░░░░░░░░████░░░░░░░░░░
░░░█░█░░░░░░█░░█░░░░░░░░░░
░░░███░░ 2 █░░█░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░█░░▀▀▀ ░████░░░░░░░░░░
sorry it was hard.

this dude looks like he smells like pee

Jonah Hill studying for the role as The Human Testicle

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░█ ░░░░▀▀█ ░░░░▀▀█ ░░░░▀▀█ ░░░
░░░█ ░░░░░▀█ ░░░░░▀█ ░░░░░░█ ░░░
░░░▀ ░░░░▀▀▀ ░░░░▀▀▀ ░░░░░░▀ ░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

this dude owns

~c=ლ=8

╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no augs ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13.
People call a guy fat, no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be
overweight. People call an old man ugly, no one knows he had a serious injury to
his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if u are against
bullying and stereotypes. i bet 99 % of you won't

♥♥♥♥ that I am for stereotypes and bullying

zess is soulja boy irl

literally

Zess no, you have to be the big kid now

First comment of 2011

zefdsfdss

lookit zess all grown up going 2 college ;) feels like only yesterday i held him in my arms

Aspergers.

im going to murder you in your sleep ;)

一条土猪，美国的黑人婴儿

yo zess why did you steal that cat from me (cat in avatar)

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wd1kJrsuymQ/S5pZxS245gI/AAAAAAAAACc/juThcFm9CfA/s1600-h/freak.jpg

8=============D

lady gaga more like mr. gaga hahaha

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty.
He said no.
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever.
He said no.
She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away.
He again said no.
She had heard too much.
She needed to leave.
As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay, he said,
"You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."

[][][][][][][][][][]][][]p[]][][]][][]][][[[[][][]]][][]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

.
You've just been....
--------------------------------------------------------
-----------_____________________________
_______l~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
l__________WAZZED!___________l
-------------------------------------------------------

RIP

ur totally cool zess

r.i.p zessf

Hooray I made the cut

♥♥♥♥ THE POLICE! post this on 20 other profiles or the cops will come to you're house and arrest you!

................___,,,,,,,,,,,,___
.........._--||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||--_
......./||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||||\
...../||||||||"""""""""""""""""""""""""""||||||||\
....|||||||/.........................................\|||||
....\|||||||..........................................||||/
../¯\|||||||...._-====.........====-_....||||||||/¯\
..\...|||||..........<o>../..|..\..<o>.........|||| |... /
...\_|||||.................|...|...|.................|||||_/
......|||||.........___'-.___.-'___..........||||
......||||\..../,,,||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||,,,\.. ../||||
......\|||||\__\\\\¯\________/¯////__/||||/
........\|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||/
..........¯""\||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||/"""¯
................¯""\|||||||||||||||||||||||/""¯

♥♥♥♥ SHAMWOW

zessfsux

Stop asking for weed, dammit.

BOB SAGET!

BOO YAH

[Бонк!] ZessF was kicked by Bologna.

Nobody is going to send you Killing floor stop fooling yourself.

yay!

zessf hes a friend

♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ get paid

gay

ur totally cool zess

find employment

♥♥♥♥ you you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ i think your a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot and im sure that everyone else on fa would agree

get a job

get a job

It's like everyone has a blog

a dirty comment

YOU'VE BeeN HIT BY THE

|^^^^^^^^^^^^|
|SEXY TRUCK | '|""";.., ___.
|_..._...______===|= _|__|..., ] |
"(@ )'(@ )""""*|(@ )(@ )*****(@

ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT 8 PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU'LL KNO YOUR REALLI sexy! IF YOU BRAKE THE cHAIN, YOULL BE CURSED WITH UN*SEXYNESS FOR 10 YEARS SO PASS IT HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS sexy"