I used to work at a seafood counter and we got a call in from a guy who wanted to order 5 whole sockeye salmons. When we ordered them in, who else but Jack Nicholson, sunglasses and all, came in to pick them up.

He personally inspected each one, commenting that he was looking for a salmon that had "perfect balance without sacrificing aerodynamics". Apparently he likes to drive around Los Angeles and launch fish off highway overpasses.

He complimented us on the quality of our seafood and slammed a few hundred dollar bills down on the counter. He told me to "go buy yourself some roller blades" while walking out the door with his fish.

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sorry it was hard.

this dude looks like he smells like pee

Jonah Hill studying for the role as The Human Testicle

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