Recent reviews by The Horrors of 2009

Everyone knows Mario is cool as ♥♥♥♥. But knows what he’s thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance I believe it was Kant who said “Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.” Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating “Let’s-a go!” Keep it up, baby! When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.

Why does the taxman want the items? Is he jewish?

Hey it's me Goku! Is that all you got ♥♥♥♥♥♥?! What did you say?!

I wish hippo guy would throw it back for me

Maria.

I gave my friend a sonichu necklace for his birthday as a joke

We unironically don't hear from him anymore.

Sonic the Hedgehog kissed my dad

I am a 39 year old male, single father, who bought this game for my Son. My father told me on his death bed to give my son everything he could ever want and he was asking me for this game for the whole year up until christmas where a gave this game to him. He told me he didn't have a "Steam" account or a "Computer". These damn kids today so ungreatful so I took the download card and ate it infront of him. Then later at dinner I pooped it out on his food.

I hate this game ♥♥♥♥ you and ♥♥♥♥ all the persona 5 fans I hate all of you.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is that Hideo Kojima?!