They sell everything here.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. Pawnshops are like international waters. People come in, and they just trade stuff, you know what I mean? Anything goes here.

We can get whatever we want, all right?

Let's pick this bad boy up.

sh*t, that's awesome.

All right, good.

So you're sure we'll have enough money for this and the wedding dress, right?

Oh, I see where you're going with this now.

Sew me into the couch.

Sew you into the couch? What are you saying?

Yeah. That's what I do at home all the time- hide in the couch. It's a great hiding place. I catch Charlie pounding off all the time.

"Pounding off"? Where do you get these terms?

Why do you wanna catch Charlie mastսrbat¡ng? No, I don't care!

If you do not get my sister her stories and a new room as soon as possible, then I will come down on this hospital like the hammer of Thor. The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the dust of a thousand winds!

Dude… eat my boogers!

Official resumé of Mac and Charlie:

- Work experience: Paddy's Pub management
Duties:
- Ordering supplies and taking care of business
- Business coordinator for several years

- For several years, I've been in complete charge of pretty much everything in my life

I'm gonna have the snapper. And I'm gonna buy one for the strange
man behind me who I've never met.

Gentlemen, I hate to inform you two... strangers here that we are out of snapper. We had some issues with our local supplier, so we are completely out of fish today.

How do you not have fish?! It says "Fresh fish daily" on the menu.

Well, I just explained it. I went step by step.

But how come you don't have it? It's on the menu! You have no snapper?!

There's a sequence of events...

It says right here snapper...

Especially my roommate, the frog kid.

Oh, you had a frog kid roommate? Sure.

Froggy and I used to take care of each other. He was a good kid. We watched each other's back. One time, we escaped and they chased us down with those big nets they use to catch dogs.

Did you grow up in a cartoon?

I can't believe they set them loose. Froggy can't be in the world out there. Froggy never did anything wrong. I gotta find Froggy.

Froggy! Froggy!

You kept interrupting me about anything that's blue on the menu, right?
You didn't let me chew your food for you. You know, you...

Oh, well, you're not gonna be able to do that, either. No more chewing my food.
You mash it too thin. You take all the flavor out of it.
( Sputters ) You get all the nutrients. I get all the mush.

So, Mr. Reynolds, you're interested in buying our arena football team?

Big time! But I want to do business with Mr. Von Joni himself.

Bon Jovi.

Yeah, Mr. Bovine Joni himself. I'm offering $40 million for the team.

How the hell did you get drugs for Pete?

Well, I had a simple conversation with a reasonable man and that man wrote me a prescription.

Mmm, yeah. He got the drugs by being a real-life, actual psychopath.

She keeps Uh, no. Ridiculous, okay? No, the man asked me a few questions. I answered those questions as honestly as I could. Next thing I know, I'm walking out the door - with meds for borderline personality disorder.

That's how you get ♥♥♥♥ done.

That's how you get diagnosed.

I need to take a ♥♥♥♥

What's with the get up?

It's not a get up. It's an eye patch from when I was attacked by a bird.

Gruesome, I wish I could have seen that!

You did see it!

I don't remember...

I noticed you following that one around a bunch, what is going on with that? Im not picking up star vibes from her. Shes a dud, shes a gigant dud. But I have an idea, you follow me around make me the star of whatever this is and ill make this ♥♥♥♥ pop. Right, ill steal her man, ill expose her for the dud she is... what do you think? Lets work together

you fw me with the bargains but you made me laugh with the 1cent off so i'll accept it

+rep

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bot and disturbe the matches, idiot and noob

Explain to me why my wife is calling me... telling me that one of ♥♥♥♥♥ Hands's friends tried to force himself on her.
Oh! Oh! This guy?
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Enough with the "Oh's"!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bot and disturbe the matches, idiot and noob

Let me tell y’all a story ‘bout a girl I knew
A brokeass ♥♥♥♥♥ with a gayass crew
She said that I was cute, She said that I was funny
But the honey couldn’t stop lookin’ at my money
Busted old lady with a flat tiny ass
Her body like a skeleton in science class
Face beat up by the school of hard knocks
Hair so fried and bleached by Clorox
It’s like she’s skinny but fat in all the wrong places
Mothers gotta cover their babies’ faces
When she walks by people think she’s Godzilla
Straight out of Compton
No, y’all, straight outta “Thriller”
Looking like a zombie, walking like a chicken
Mouth full of ♥♥♥♥, that’s why her breath be stinkin’
Just one question, Dee, before you take your bow
This gravy train’s leavin’ so who’s retarded now?

All right, if you come down right on the top part and smash down with all your weight... you'll break the kid's foot in three places.

What if I get hurt?

That's a good question. Now as long as you hurt the other kid... as bad or worse than he hurts you... you'll have done your job, and I'll be proud of you.

She's talking about my Uncle Donald. Huh.

I didn't even know you had an uncle Donald.

Yeah, yeah, that's my dad's brother. Donald McDonald? Yeah.

Ronald McDonald. Donald McDonald. Wow. Your dad really scored with the name Luther, I guess, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the suck boy you're looking for. You want my time, you got to pay to spray.

That's my motto.

That and you cannot finish inside me.

- Did you smell her breath?
- Are you kidding me?

It smelled like she was nibbling
on little pieces of ♥♥♥♥.

So, I went into the Puerto Rican part of town, started making fun of their big fat asses and asked them if they were Dominican.

What?! Why-why would you do that?

Well, to be fair, I did start with some stuff that was slightly less offensive, but turns out, they're a very lovely community, so I really had to I had to dig deeper.

Really, really hit 'em where it hurt.

Anyway, they're on their way.

They're on their way?!

Yeah, after what I said, sure, yeah.

I was like, "Um, you guys, why don't you take a break "from your cockfighting and, uh, you know, hop in your rafts and come bring it to a real American?" And then I was like, "Follow me.

[SINGING "MEXICAN HAT DANCE"]

Girl, you silly. They ain't no clowns. What up, fellas?

Well...you may be a man. You may be a leprechaun, but only one things for sure...You're in the wrooooong basement

I don't understand what you just said. I read gibberish, but I don't speak it.

👁+🌊+🦁?

Bro, when you tack on mass, you sacrifice flexibility. That's just a straight up fact.

Dee, where do my feet go?

Stupid science ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ couldn't even make I more smarter

Your great-grandmother's last name was Abramowitz. I found it on an ancestry Web site. That makes you a dirty liar because you are Jewish.

You know he kept calling you the N-word earlier?

Shut up bird!

At least I'm not covered in stupid tattoos and have a cigarette for a mother

I got cash in my pocket, I got desire in my heart, and I'm a-frothing and a-foaming...What do you say we slip into a room and you two split me open like a coconut?

Tools! Tools! Duct tape, zip ties and gloves! I have to have my tools! It's fetish- it's fetish ♥♥♥♥! I-I-I like to bind, I like to be bound!

Think of all the fish we're gonna catch. You gotta start thinking about shrimp, okay? We're gonna be hauling in so much shrimp every day, it's gonna pay for itself ten times over. Picture tiny shrimp crawling all over this boat. Every inch of it...

I don't have online... I don't do the e-mails.

Charlie: We'll scrape all these delicious oysters or whatever off the side of the boat and we'll put them in a pot and boil them before you get back.
Frank: We'll cook them for you.
Dennis: Those are barnacles. Do not eat those. Do not cook them in a pot and serve them to us.

No hesitation. No Surrender. No man left behind.

Don't really care for jazz, though. Lot of unnecessary notes...

Look, the point is he shouldn't have a gun in a school in the first place anyway. Guns just do not belong in schools. That is why I brought along a saber.

Who did those tits? The nipple placement is crazy.

Everything you need is already inside you!

When people stop buying vacuum cleaners and knives door-to-door, it can mean only one thing, Deandra.

Good-bye, recession, hello, depression.

They're just trading fish for other fish is what it looks like.
That's the same fish they just passed to each other. Like bird flu, fish flu.
They just passed that same fish head back and forth.

Is that what all those little pieces of paper were floating... I drank all that ♥♥♥♥, dude!

That's okay. There was, like, a ton of acid in there!

I-I'm a cool guy now, so... I'm gonna grab this laptop, I'm gonna go make a new ad for my awesome Range Rover, which I'm gonna sell, and then I'm gonna get myself an Alfa Romeo.

You know?

Just me and a babe.

Just me and a babe.

So, you guys do whatever you want.

Okay, I'm reading the words that someone else wrote, 'kay? I don't know your mom, never met your mom. In fact, I'm certainly not speaking to your mom now, because she's dead!

You tell her, she's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥--always been a ♥♥♥♥♥!

Tell you what, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I'm very disappointed in you today--very upset with you! You tell her from me, that I will be in touch with her, somehow...