I was caught stimfapping

For context, im 30 years old and live with my parents

I was jacking it in my room late at night (on crack) and suddenly I needed to ♥♥♥♥ really bad, so I tried to stajd up but I shifted myself and it made a really loud sound. I suspect the sound woke up my elderly mother who came into my room and caught me with a Crack pipe, butt naked with ♥♥♥♥ all over my bed. I was wearing the upper half of an authentic gestapo uniform (I have a fetish) and she immediately screamed and ran out, im sitting in the corner of my room with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass and a rancid smell in my room and I dont know how to talk to her in the morning

AFTER ALL OF THE WASTED YEARS, NEED TO GET A TASTE OF YOUR FEAR! NEED A LITTLE TASTE OF YOUR BLOOD! THEN WE CAN FINALLY BE ONE. YOU'RE EVERYTHING THAT I'VE EVER WANTED, THERE'S NO NEED TO BEG AND BARGAIN, BECAUSE ALL I NEED IS YOU.

Santa checked his list, and guess what? You've been mostly good... except for that one time you rage-quit in Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls. 😳 But don't worry, I got you the ultimate gift this year: unlimited XP, legendary loot, and zero lag.... in my heart. ❤️
May your FPS be high, your ping be low, and your loot drops be epic as hell. If you hear jingle bells tonight, it's just me hacking the North Pole to drop you a +10 sword of Christmas Cheer. X g
Merry Christmas, noob... now log in or Santa deletes your Steam account. 😎

What are you waiting for? Change your pronouns then, slut- and get on the bed so I can use you~

pixie i like mlp. i started it as a joke a month ago. im like chris chan.

I see you!