Recent reviews by //→MØRE

Dispatch is the first game in years that actually dragged me out of my gaming coma the moment I launched the demo, and I didn't even see it coming, I just stumbled across it by accident.

I swear, I’ve been gaming on autopilot for years.
Buy a game on sale -> install -> play 2-3hours -> uninstall -> let it rot in Steam’s nuclear bunker.
Gaming impotence 101.

And suddenly Dispatch shows up out of nowhere and slaps me in the face, like
“hey, idiot, remember what emotions feel like?”

The artstyle hits first 🎨
I thought It’s like LoL Arcane and The Boys have a quickie, and accidentally made a child, during their mid life crisis, have no idea how but it works.
Neon, grit, colors, broken beauty, all stitched together into something that’s not even a parody of every other super movie anymore, it’s just its own thing.
A visual side of the game punches me straight in the visual cortex.

Characters were surprisingly alive, for animated bunch of villain weirdos and outcasts.
And the amount of references, f me, it had me grinning like an idiot the whole game.
The “phenomeno…mena…maman” thing 🦸🏻‍♂️ straight-up depressed Superman energy with some ED problems.
Villain Robot from Incredibles, but stronger and scarier.
The Cavill style fist recharge animation? Yeah, they knew exactly what they were doing 💪🏻
"Black Einstein" joke got me, because that was the first thing I got in my mind before the actual punch line.

And every character actually feels like someone.
Not nameless “NPC №73", but people with their own trauma, humor, broken edges, soft spots.
You believe their voices, because it genuinely sounds like the actors recorded their lines from inside the character heads. It feels like roles were written for actors, not actors were chosen for the role.
(And did you see the cast itself, because I didn't at first, just skipped all the text in the description, and that's what made things even better. No wonder voices sounds so familiar, I thought. (And yeah, not everyone watch all the movies in original))

And the music… holy mother of synthwave, the music 🎶🔥
This wasn’t just a “background noise" to be there,
this was like an emotional defibrillator for me.
First track started on a demo, and my skin legit went electric, with goosebumps running all over.
Feels like Retrosynth with atmospheric tension, just pure bliss for my ears.
Like it taps directly into that part of my brain that says
“yeah, you’re alive, deal with it.” and don't forget to buy the game when all the episodes will be available!

Gameplay, well I think Dispatch isn’t trying to be a game.
It’s an interactive staged play, where you sit behind the curtain pushing reality buttons in small ways, like Robert behind his old PC in SDN, but it still plays it's role in your trip.
At the end of the day, It’s not the choices that matters that much, it’s the participation in their lives, what make the game alive.
Your presence, is the mechanic of this game.

Honestly It’s the first time in forever I actually enjoyed sitting in front of a screen in comfy chair and be part of a story, instead of throwing another game into the “maybe, could be, probably someday I will play it more than 6 hours” steam shelf.

Dispatch is disrespectfully short, for people who like this style and storytelling.
I would actually enjoy the tv show, based on this game!

It's Stylish, weird, emotional, self-aware, and totally committed to its vibe, game.
Not “stupid ha-ha parody” like Scary Movie, but a genuinely unique story with soul of creators behind it. And I want to believe, they created this game to play themselves and still enjoy it, instead of creating something 😺 soft to please everyones fragile feelings and ego, nowadays.
And that's what make the difference for consumers.

It didn’t just entertain me, i felt like I was part of the story, and it's a shame it's finished so fast.

Small drop of tar in the barrel of honey.
Choice between invisigal and blonde blazer, well I pick malevola but it wasn't even an option.
It's pretty obvious where is bad-neutral-good 💬 options you can play.
And the predictable "unpredictable" super villain who can calculate all the % of outcome, but his ego so huge that don't let him even consider, that unpredictable outcome is also an outcome, and that's predictable, circle closed.

But none of that kill the experience, and I don't care what anyone else would say, It's just 10/10 for me, a parody that somehow feels more honest and alive, than most of AAA...AAAA...AAAAAA... games, with its over 9000²km of empty fields, grass and yellow snow, thrown in a wrap of "freedom".

"We live, we laugh, we suppress our trauma" © hit hard, but it's the essence of this game, and life, sometimes.

PS: And if you are able to read all that to this point and not buthurted, but still have no idea if you should buy this game or not, think about it as a movie tickets for a few evenings, it's worth it.

Sifu
⭐ 9/10 - "Drunken Master meets a Time-Turner ⏳"

You know how Hogwarts Legacy gives you that magical vibe for some time? Well, Sifu injects martial arts nostalgia, straight into your veins the second you press Start.

This isn’t just a brawler. It’s a stress test for your age, patience and skill, this is a playable love letter to every VHS fight tape your dad rented in the 90s. Every level feels like you’re both: the stuntman and the director of your own "Police Story"🎬

👊 Wanna be Jackie Chan? Throw chairs, bottles, tables, maybe a lamp somewhere, roll over a desk, and save your ass through chaos🪑
⚡ Donnie Yen/Ip Man? Perfect parries, surgical counters, Bruce Lee precision with Flash-level speed hits.
📼 Oldboy? Literally die in the most unpleasant ways a few times, respawn at age 70, grab a pipe from poor guy leaving him unconcious and beat 29 other guys in a hallway until they look like movie props.
🔪 The Raid? Storm in, slam heads into toilets and walls, slice mobs with machetes and broken bottles… then realize you probably need to buy a "Serial Cleaner" DLC to deal with the mess you left behind🩸

Combat is fast, tight, meaty, brutal - every punch feels like it will costs some, for their health insurance company. No wonder Jackie Chan founded his own insurance company. Dying here just means you respawn as an angrier pensioner IRL - like the game literally ages you along with your character. “Get out of my temple!” but with Kung-Fu.

❌ Flaws?
Enemies queue politely like it’s Japanese rush hour 🚉, then cheap-shot from behind when you drop your guard. Some runs feel like memory tests instead of fights. But honestly, who cares? You’ll be too busy cosplaying a drunken master with bad knees.

Verdict:
Not just a beat’em up, it’s an interactive martial arts mixtape. Jackie, Ip Man, Oldboy, The Raid… (no place for plush Kung-Fu Panda here) pick your style, gamepad, kick back on a sofa and choreograph your own action movie.

P.S. When your last combo ends with smashing a bottle over some poor bastards face 🍾, you’ll finally understand why you bought this game.

Hogwarts Legacy
⭐ 6.5/10 — “Avada Kedavras"

Game promised me “living wizarding world”. What I got: ✨window shopping with NPC shadow clones✨.

Castle and surroundings looks dope 🏰, stairs spin, portraits talk... and then you notice there is like 20 NPC total in a game, all of them copy-paste, walking in couples, saying 3 lines on repeat from time to time, and spin like fidget spiner when stuck. Sometimes they straight-up pull Naruto substitution jutsu and turn into tree logs.

Quests? Hogwarts uber eats edition 🚴:

“find my spit-rocks”

“bring my flying boogers”

"Fly on a broom"

"Find me 15 leaves"

Dont forget to do 1373 merlin and boulder fun quests.

Meanwhile I spam Avada Kedavra ☠️ and crucio on every goat 🐐 i see and the game still gives me the unicorn and flowers happy ending 🦄🥀👏. Well... thanks, I guess?

Combat is flashy with special effects and some variations, but it’s basically pressing 1-2-3-4 –> f2 1-2-3-4 -> f3... and so on until you get arthritis. Enemies politely wait to die on a same place. Soulslike for toddlers.

Choices? Nonexistent and not impactful on your game. Still game trying to be off rails game... with empty fields. Saint or psycho you play, everyone still calls me “promising, great young wizard” 🤡.

Verdict: Beautiful storefront 🛍️, full of mannequins, great for screenshots and the feeling of magic… but if you actually play, it’s more “magical IKEA” than Hogwarts with life in it.

Ps. Revelio... Revelio... Revelio... Revelio... Revelio...



UPDATE

I feel like i need to make an update. Game is not bad. It’s kinda fun, it’s shiny, it’s magical enough. That’s why it’s thumbs up. But let’s be honest, it’s shallow AF.

The issues aren’t graphics or combat. The problem is the soul that’s missing.

👾 Big villain? Some random super goblin warlord who never existed in HP lore and no one care about it. Forced drama just so you can spam Crucio without guilt.

🧙 Main character? Have Plot armor so thick that Voldemort would cry. No choice matters, no consequence exists. You’re either Saint or Psycho, and as i said before everyone still calls you “promising young wizard” 🤡.

🧟 NPCs? Copy-paste mannequins on a lazy loop. Literraly, here is one of examples of spinner https://i.imgur.com/lTneT9w.mp4 They don’t talk to each other, don’t react to you, don’t react to world, dont interact with anything, they just background noise, not characters. Portraits are more alive in the castle walls.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Companions? Wooden, boring and annoying as IKEA shelves.
I was more interested in why
Black = worst headmaster ever
Weasley = McGonagall DLC with some family values
Garlick = lovable and just adorable.
Hecat = missed chance to learn about unspeakable or dragon corpse
Etc. etc.

🪄 Goblin vs wizard culture? Barely touched. We could find out why wizards dont allow goblins to play with their hard long wands if you know what am i talking about 😏 but instead it’s a side note nobody cares about.

📚 School life? Nonexistent. You don’t attend a single class except where you get a spell. Everyone’s chill with you running into Forbidden Forest at midnight, murdering trolls, murderers and giant spiders like it’s a weekend hobby.

We could get a centaurs storyline but we got snidgets, oh wait snidgets died any way, because they are no where near in wizard world later on.

☠️ Dark arts? You cast Avada Kedavra in the middle of town. NPCs: “oh no! Dont do it promising young wizard” … then 5 seconds later: “wanna buy some butterbeer?”

🧩 And Merlin… freaking Merlins beard🧙🏻‍♂️ Legendary wizard, name dropped in every book. What do we get? 1373 puzzles that stay untouched for a millennium, apparently because no one ever thought of pushing a stone onto a pedestal and waiting for you to spam Revelio again.

Bonus prize: Death’s invisibility cloak magically handed to you, even though canon says it belongs only to Peverells. Sure, why not. (May be I'm missing something here)

So yeah, Hogwarts Legacy looks magical, screenshots look dope especially "special" toilet cabins🏰✨ (check my screenshots). But if you scratch the surface, it’s less “living wizarding world” and more “Disneyland with mannequins”.

And Verdict (again): Fun game, but not timeless. A weekend trip to catch beasts and breed them (yeah, Scamander’s book from HP 1), lumos that grumpy portrait who wants to sleep… but don’t expect real wizard life. More “Revelio Simulator 2023” than Harry Potter RPG. 👁️⚡👁️

По Зоне не Бегают, по Зоне Ходят!

we get it, you all are good guys, just take some of our money alrady!

нужно избавляться от багов, и допиливать контент!!