There she was, laying there, naked

There I was, standing there, hardened

I didn't waste any time, I dove right in

Even though I'm a Christian, I was ready to sin

Coitus was so good, as I gave her the wood, I said "Eureka!"

"I'm gonna make you bless the rains down in Africa"

She squeezed me tight, moaning in delight as we turned up the heat

We both climaxed... Not. It was just me, alone, wetting my bed sheet.

Oh what’s that? You just showed me an uno reverse card as a comeback? Well if you ever played the game you’d know that what the card actually does is change the order of turns in the loop, thus you just made it so that it is once again my turn. And now I can recall another insult. Your ignorance is your extreme downfall you buffon.

+rep fun dood

My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???
He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it

It’s okay, I understand. I know how it is to be insecure about yourself y’know, but like… sometimes the whole point of falling in love is coping with those flaws and insecurities of your partner. Your crush will accept you wholly no matter how insecure you are of yourself.

He will love your feet as much as he loves you because it’s a part of you. An extension of you.

You don’t know how he will respond; you haven’t sent him your feet. The first step to getting into a relationship is to be vulnerable. So, it’s time to be vulnerable: let him see you for who you are, feet included.

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