I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>decent looking guy, having a good job.
>Not many friends and single because of job, work 3rd shift.
>Watch Drive for the first time ever.
>Changes my life, I want to be Driver.
›Get my haircut like Driver and start wearing clothes like Driver, no Scorpion jacket because I'm not Autistic.
>Start behaving like Driver. Quiet but cool.
>Buy brand new 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 because Driver drove one and I make enough so ♥♥♥♥ it.
>Start eating at this little diner erry night, staff remembers me, always saves me a spot.
>qt pie waitress always chats me up, gives me free pie.
reciprocate but remain vague and brooding. Waitress wants me.
>Ask her if she wants to go for a drive. She gladly accepts.
>Cruise the night listening to Drive soundtrack.
>Drop her off at her apartment, ask if I want to come inside for coffee.
›Oh heck yes
>play it cool, brood for a sec, reply with a " yeah" simple.
>We poop
›Waitress and I start dating.
>Keep up my Driver shlick.
>She introduces me to her friends, they think I'm cool as heck.
>Some of her dude friends start wearing skinny jeans, white tees like me. Holy hell lol:
>One night her and I are sit down to watch a movie on demand.
>She's browsing movies, stops on Drive.
>Oh shoot..
>"You seen this yet Anon?"
>Shoot, shoot, shoot play it cool man, what would Driver do.
>Brood for a sec.
nah. it's not my thing".
>Ended up watching Bridesmaids.
Still dating today and still doesn't know Ive been pretending to be Ryan Gosling for 4+ years.