no....you can't break up with me... you've seen me naked... you've seen my cutie mark.. you know it is literally just a picture of your face.... please :(....

no, yeah, i was surprised it predicted your bangs before you'd got them too

PLEASE BE MY BOYFRIEND!! ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!! EVERYTIME we play DBD i pretend its a date <3(ILOVE YOU) and i sometimes let u win on the basketball hoops in phasmophobia just because i like seeing u happy... god i cant go on without you. im counting down the days til ur back. i hope youve missed me as much as i miss you,, SPEAK TO YOU SOON <3 xxx

I'm chimp hater

I got pantsed at school yesterday. It was really embarrassing, and everyone was laughing at me, so I thought I’d do the only rational thing I could think of. I pulled my underwear down and started furiously masturbating to assert dominance. My crush was in the room so it was really easy to get the soldier up. Everyone was too shocked to say anything, I think they were paralyzed from the fear too. Anyways, after a few minutes of cranking I squirted baby batter all over my crush. She started screaming and ran out of the room. Everyone was yelling at me, the teacher even walked in and took me to the principal’s office. I got expelled and I might get a sexual assault charge soon. At least I asserted dominance though. Stay sigma, fellow kings 🐺🐺🐺

right then lass youve been quite the horrid little wench u have, Methinks a few lashes across the bottom should fix u, u saucy tart, the safe word is 'oi guv not so bloody hard', innit

+rep I hope if i ever get cancer and shave my head and then get cancer again and die that i can be in your arms