Recent reviews by Gauntlet O Doom

It's one of the better 40k action games I've played. I beat it several times on the Xbox360. Wish they'd make another one.

Remember Splinter Cell Conviction? This is like that but a little faster, smoother, and more humane. Also, a suspicious lack of Michael Ironside. But unless you wanna play Ghost Recon or R6 it's the newest splinter cell you can play.

It's 50% Metal Gear 50% Bayonetta. It's pretty great.

I would probably give Hitman Absolution a 6 out of 10.

This (much like Splinter Cell) is from the perspective of a person who didn't play the more conceptually open world games of the previous gen. So a serious fan of the series would probably rate it lower than I would. This is a stealth game, which means stealth kills, sight lines and penalties for getting caught. I am a person who very much enjoys stealth games, but I don't play them 'properly'. I generally view stealth games as a puzzle game where in which the goal is to kill as many people as possible without being caught. In game like Hitman that is frowned upon by the game scoring system, so I've adapted with the fairly scrubby tactic of only killing people to avoid being caught. Still not quite what the game wants, but ♥♥♥♥ it, I do what I want. Anyway, what sets this game apart from other stealth games is that rather using lighting, crawlspaces and incredibly contrived fortress design to stay out of sight, this game uses a little of the aformentioned but also employs disguises. Different enemies respond differently to the hitman in 'normal' dress, versus various disguises. As an example, a cop won't react to the hitman dressed as club security, but the other bouncers will notice they don't recognize the hitman' face, and spot and catch him that way. So the right disguise in the right time or place is the key to passing through places more easily. What this tends to amount to in my experience thus far, is 'incapacitate solo cop, take disguise, spend the rest of the level shuffling my way towards the objective". I'm probably doing it wrong actually. People seem to have complained about the levels linear structure, but to me the game wants me to explore more than my rookie playthrough talents are capable of. It kind of reminds me of a click-and-solve adventure game. There's a clear 'ideal' disguise and assassination method, both in terms of points, and in terms of escaping the environment unscathed. Once you figure that out, either through guides, trial and error(me) or your inherent cleverness, it's pretty straightforward.

On a mechanical level the game is fairly sound. There's some glitches and contextual actions can space out at weird times, but I haven't run into too many problems. There's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of guns, most of which I didn't unlock, but silencers win everything, and at least in base game the aiming is too clunky for anything but being shot to death in a pinch. The game has a instinct mechanic, or a scrub-assist meter. This meter builds when you do stealthy things, or shoot heads, and is used to avoid detection in plain sight, as well as slow down time for a Splinter-Cell(Conviction onward) esque mark and execute mechanic. Generally speaking it runs out really fast when you need it to hide the most(ie:crowds), and when you need to use it on a group of dudes, it probably means you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up. It it seems clear looking at the game difficulty settings that you really aren't supposed to need them anyway...

One thing that irritates me about this game is the fact that all meaningful character progression is tied to specific tasks, or collectibles. Everytime I complete a level there's 3 or 4 things the game tells me I didn't get. It's clear the developers want you to experience as much of their ornately crafted corridor walls as possible. But as a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ stealth gamer, the kind of effort it takes to unlock new ♥♥♥♥ requires replays, and stumbling through the levels like a dumbass has yet to give me that 'just as planned' feel that games like Splinter Cell or Dishonored give. So I rarely feel like a smooth operator, but rather a lucky ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in a poorly fit cop uniform with a silenced pistol.

Possibly the most insulting thing about this game is probably the story. Now, this is a videogame, so I expect terrible writing, mediocre acting and excellent production values. Which more or less happened. What I really found insulting was the ridiculous army of caracatures you deal with. The game works really, really hard to make the bad guys unreasonable unlikeable. It's kind of strange considering the hitman is about a hitman. As a person who kills other people for money. He's clearly a terrible person, so trying to justify blowing up a mentally impaired cripple running away from him in the middle of the desert with nun-rape and murder is kind of... Absurd. And at the same time they try to remind us not to shoot the police or innocent bystanders by having them convey moral lessons or otherwise talk about how they may be working for a psychotic people killing jerk, but are themselves good people. I feel like the scoring system is enough incentive for me not to kill unecissarily(unless I feel like it, in which case I'm shooting good ol' officer Ted in the face just because). And that's not even getting to the chubby-neckbearded Agency boss with the robot hand, who proceeds to sic a squad of prostitute-assassin nuns on our probably catholic protagonist. I dunno if the game was written by catholics, or people who really hate catholics, but there's a weird almost moral(anti-moral?) edge to the games presentation that didn't help it. The ugly people, accents, squalor and incredibly nice looking skin textures do a great deal to convey a setting that is covered in skin grease and grime. The psychotic stripper-nunsassin's were more than over the top.

TL:DR; Hitman Absolution is a fairly sound, if clunky stealth puzzle game. The presentation on the other hand, destroys any drama, impact or edge its simple story tries to convey. The games unlock system either requires talent, or grinding to really get anything from. And the story is both stupid and insulting. Seriously.

When this game first came out I was kind of annoyed. It seemed like the premise was take Lara Croft, and coat her in multiple layers of finely ground dirt and grime, then impale her on a rusty spike. Which more or less happens, and I didn't mind.

They basically combined the horrible deaths of a survival horror game with a 3rd person shooter with platforming elements. There's exploration, there's puzzles, there's collectibles, there is a plot. Overall the experience is very well done, with really nice graphics, animation and voiceacting. The game is fairly easy, as long as you're paying attention the the environment, and the first few times you die, it'll be a traumatic experience. The transformation of Lara Croft from female Indian Jones into some kind of arrow weilding Batwoman is an interesting experience to say the least.

This is another game where the plot presentation and gamplay stray from one another. Lara's first kill is a harrowing experience, and I felt for her. I then proceeded to stab, headshot, and generally slaughter every other human on the island. I had pretty good time doing it too.
Did I mention that along with a cult of crazed hobos there's also an army of samurai? And at least one ogre. So things start out grimy and get ridiculous pretty quick.

One thing I really appreciate about this game that longtime Tomb Raider fans may not like. The tombs are puzzles uncovered through exploration, provide extra resources and exposition, and are for most part optional. So my Tomb Raider experience was more like the systemic elimination of the New York homeless than an explorey jaunt into the realm of ancient dead.

Be advised, this game has multiplayer, and and I cannot comment on it in any meaningful way, because it is stupid. Core game was great though, you should try it.

Maaaaan this game... I actually finished it, which was kind of a feat. I don't know if it was the health mechanic, my lack of talent, or simply the game, but this was a lengthy experience. It's kind of strange actually. I bought this thinking it'd be a quick grimy, shooty romp, especially given the focus on the games multiplayer, which I did not touch. But there is a full length third person shooter, with at least three different action movies worth of plot.

The games presentation is kind of ridiculous actually. From the VHS scan lines to the painstakingly animated exit wounds, this game wants you to take it seriously. And if it was around say half it's length and omitted the flashbacks, you might be able to. But nothing disconnects the tone and style of the story the game is trying to tell more than its gamplay. You're a rough, barely functing ex-cop on the edge, struggling through a haze of drug and pill addiction, trying to ride connections and past success into an easy retirement.The game works to convey this to you with every other line out of Max's mouth. And Max immediately proceeds to outshoot, outrun and generally outmurder a shadowy cabal of criminals, paramilitary, actual military, and like an army of italian gangsters, with no more than three guns at any one time. That said, if you edited the cutscenes and say, the last minute of combat from each level you'd have an overwrought, noir inspired B-movie starring the guy from Beaking Bad.

You will definitely get your moneys worth if you buy this, not including the mutiplayer. Just be aware there's some Rockstar account DRM nonsense you'll need to sign up for, even for the single player.

I would like to first say that I completely skipped the original FarCry 3, and have not played any of the previous games. That said, the core mechanics of the game are a pretty solid open-world first person shooter. It's got guns, vehicles, explosions, driving, animal hunting and a plot. The major draw of the game is it's ridiculous faux 80's presentation. It's like a weird cross between Terminator, Universal Soldier and G.I Joe. Everything has a garish layer of neon, the 'cyborg' enemies wear motorcycle helmets and b-movie costumes, and the main character is voice by Michael Beihn, and his nickname "Power" is mentioned like a rank whenever his name is said. I actually finished this game, but mostly played through the 'story', doing a few missions and a little collecting purely because I like shooting things. If you like this sort of game, the writing will probably make your day. If you like 80's pop culture parodies, make sure it's on sale when you get it, just in case.

Oh, and it does require Uplay, and despite the fact that I actually enjoyed the game, I probably wouldn't have bought it had I known.

This is a combat-focused, combo oriented MetroidVania. It isn't entirely finished, but has a decent amount of replay value and was definitely worth the couple of playthroughs I've given it so far. It's a little on the easy side, but that seems typical of the genre. Last I checked there are two additional playable characters on the way, and I'll probably be playing through one more time with Reina, before they are released.

The combat system takes a little getting used to, and with a little attention can be used to create ridiculous combos and damage. That was actually one of my bigger problems, as most of the normal enemies died entirely too quickly to get a feel for the combat system. A few bosses in however, I'd figured out how to outmanuever enemies, essentially utilizing combat based-sequence breaking.

I spent a little bit of time backtracking, and the map isn't exactly enormous, but if you're any good at this sort of game you'll find it a cakewalk. And I have yet to try the game on any of the higher difficulties, so I figure my perception that the game is easy may be challenged later on.

Overall it's fun game with nice music, solid mechanics and decent replay value, and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in 2D platforming or dungeon crawling.