61
Products
reviewed
784
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Minuscule-Paperweight

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Showing 1-10 of 61 entries
3 people found this review helpful
1.0 hrs on record (0.6 hrs at review time)
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Posted 27 February, 2023.
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303 people found this review helpful
371 people found this review funny
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15.7 hrs on record (1.0 hrs at review time)
This game is about as well optimized for PC as a cheese grater is for wiping your ass.
Posted 27 June, 2022.
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3 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
0.3 hrs on record
What a POS, this game literally thinks it's amateur-porn level story script is more important that the game and literally won't even let you go to the options menu to turn down the absolutely deafening default volume levels until it's finished holding your hand through all the ♥♥♥♥ they call a story introduction...

Not to mention the actual driving is so arcade it's absolutely brain dead.
Some context, usually in racing games when using a keyboard I'll have my right hand handle steering, so the left and right arrow keys. And I'll use my left arm to handle everything else, throttle, brakes, clutch, gears etc.
And I setup my keybinds in the same way for this game, left/right arrows for steering, H/T for throttle/brakes R/Y for gearup/down and Space/K for handbrake and nitrous.

As you can imagine this setup would be difficult to operate with one hand. Well... The driving in this game is so braindead that by the time I was done with the very first introduction "race" I was so numbed by the lack of challenge I was literally using nothing but the index finger of my left arm to drive out of pure boredom.
And I had absolutely no problems with driving, I could avoid the cops with ease and corner with ease. That's the levels of arcade we're talking about...

And finally there's the opponents, whether other racers or the cops the only thing that makes racing any kind of "challenge" in this game is the absolutely absurd levels of rubber banding that they get. You constantly notice your opponent getting slingshot by speed-jesus. Even the original most wanted didn't have it this horrible.
Posted 24 November, 2021.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
3.7 hrs on record
Early Access Review
Fun enough game, story is short and meh but the combat is fun enough. Level design really basic tho.
Wouldn't pay 10 bucks for it though if I knew what I know now.
Posted 30 November, 2020.
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9 people found this review helpful
1
1,353.9 hrs on record (670.6 hrs at review time)
As good as the series ever got, and considering that CA is too busy re-discovering mechanics that they lost when they released their ♥♥♥♥♥♥ warscape engine then it's quite likely as good as it'll ever get.
Posted 14 November, 2020.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
8.1 hrs on record (0.7 hrs at review time)
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Posted 1 December, 2019.
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1 person found this review helpful
1,521.3 hrs on record (1,293.5 hrs at review time)
A chill collect-a-thon, not for those who don't enjoy collecting all the things.
Posted 23 November, 2019.
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6 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
48.6 hrs on record (22.2 hrs at review time)
Last week I walked from A to B to C to E to... to X to Y to Z... to A13 to B13 to C13... to XYS37721 to XYS37722...
Today I walked from AAEUSEIIAE1337 to AAEUSEIIAE1338...........................

You get the point.

Perhaps something other that walking will happen when I get to level 40, 50, 60 or 70, but, at this point I just can't be bothered to find out.

If you are looking for a good walking simulator I suggest either the great outdoors or ´Dear Esther´ the former being completely free and the latter being 1/4th the price.
Posted 15 October, 2018.
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6 people found this review helpful
23 people found this review funny
36.1 hrs on record (28.0 hrs at review time)
I spent 20 hours to take out one girl. Ive spent less on real girls.
Posted 18 February, 2018.
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2 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
7.0 hrs on record (1.2 hrs at review time)
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Posted 30 July, 2017.
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Showing 1-10 of 61 entries