Untrained Meteorologist
"YOU SHRUNK MY HONDA YOU ♥♥♥♥♥!"
"Don't ♥♥♥♥ with the Mercedes!"
"Shut up and go inside; nobody wants to hear your problems."
"If God didn't want me to sin, then why'd he make my ass this juicy?"

Thank you crisping sleeve
Did you give? You gotta give!
I'm thankful for this fern.


You are a serf. ♥♥♥♥♥, you live in Alsace. You are a peasant. You need to give your ♥♥♥♥♥♥' lord the grain. Your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ children, you've had 15 children. You've never taken a bath. You've literally never. washed. your. penis. You've never used toilet paper. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, you have worms. You are dying. You've had 40 children, 3 of them are alive. 2 of them are child soldiers in the Duke's army.

♥♥♥♥♥, the greatest thing you can hope for is to die at the old age of 36. You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can't read. You don't know what TV is. If you were transported into today, you would be the worst gamer of all time. You don't know ♥♥♥♥. You literally probably don't even know what the direction 'left' is. I'm sure some Medieval guy is gonna get mad at me for this, ♥♥♥♥♥ I've been to the Renaissance Fair. I've eaten a large turkey wing, which the Juggalos call '♥♥♥♥♥ beaters', which I think is problematic but a funny thing to call them.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, you gotta recognize where you are, and then you gotta get passed that. You gotta be unemotional. You can't sink into this hole. You live in the oubliette. Your job is to crawl up the ladder, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You live in the HOLE. You're in the HOLE. You are a RAT. And the rat, when he's in the hole gets ♥♥♥♥♥♥. People only throw trash in the hole.

You need to eat a body. And you need to carry the plague. And you need to carry a plague around this whole world, that will change this whole ♥♥♥♥♥♥ world. And all your enemies will vomit black bile and will choke on blood and will grow boils and die. But only if you get together with your other RATS. And you come up with some kind of super plague, to ♥♥♥♥♥♥ end your enemies and...

End. This. Nightmare.



If me and you fight, you'll only hear 10 hits, I'll hit you, you hit the floor, then me and my boys hit you 8 more times while youre unconscious on the floor.

I'm tryin' to get a Sprite sponsorship.
Running was invented when Johnathan Run tried to walk twice.
Its not illegal to tell a ghost story when the cops shine their flashlight in your face.
If you can kill it, you can use it as an oven mitt!

My youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFVOUKhqKqUBvVLxCjVoZKQ

I'm an adult; I know how to operate a street, thank you
what is that a coffee machine?
Professional Salt Taster.
#THEREAREBEESINMYTEETH
#HOTSOUP
Can you even counter my strike?
Haven't you done well?
I'm a fancy man with the big fancy fancy.
Thats right it was me the whole time.
Do you play from the heart?
Im modest.
In reality you've done something awful.
Grandma's got stallions teeth and they make her mouth feel cursed.
I can't take my dead grandma to the shop.
You have 4 minutes to tell me what's going on.
Put your uncle on me.
Wouldn't you like to know weather boy.
I contain Multitudes
My birth certificate says I was born seven pounds eight hundred ounces.
mf's act like I won't disparage them.


He came home still dressed in his whale suit, reeking of booze on more than one occasion. In his drunken, angry state, he would lay into me with his flippers. What hurts the most is I know that beneath those flippers were a pair of hands, my father's hands.