I am one of the manliest, sexiest pastries you will ever meet. My face has the finest icing you will ever see. I may be a cupcake, but I am, of course, the single most fancy pastry you will ever have the pleasure to lay your seeing holes on. My best feature you ask? My buttery, soft, yet firm bottom that women find provokingly scrumptious. Do you know the muffin man? No. However, a muffin is just a bastard of a cupcake. I am no bastard sir, just an example of the finer baked goods in life.