This feller stole all of my John Bucks. I am gonna need those to buy John sauce and John fries and John burger and John soda or beer. Feel free to send me Johnmo payment or perhaps a John Money Order. Or...heh...I could always call in the man himself...but we wouldn't want that, now would we?

W Speed

goonerr

The Constitution of the United States: A Transcription
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Note: The following text is a transcription of the Constitution as it was inscribed by Jacob Shallus on parchment (the document on display in the Rotunda at the National Archives Museum.) The spelling and punctuation reflect the original.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

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geek won and it wasn't even close

I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 481k readers, I am not receiving 481k upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.

vsauce micheal here

Cutest ghostface in the world. <3

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If my girl👧😍 and my fidget spinners 💯🔥 are both drowning🌊😦 and I could only save one😄☝️️ you can Catch me letting it spin at my girls funeral😅👻💀 Cause it's fidget spinner or catch a fade my ♥♥♥♥♥🙏👊

babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.

📂Documents
└📁PleaseHelpMe
└📁Stinky Fart Boy
└⚠️ This folder is FULL 2TB

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are :^)

chill +rep

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hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx