The Universe is the Imagination of a Cat

The universe we live in is the product of a Cat's mind. Cats are supreme immortal beings who rule the 9 dimensions. They are led by the mighty Aslan, (a.k.a. Morgan Freeman) who is the greatest being of all time. In order to reproduce, the Cats create entire universes in their minds with individual life forms that lead 9 separate lives before they are judged based on their interaction with cats in the imaginary universe. If they are kind to cats, they are turned into an immortal cat god. If they like dogs (not all dogs apply here, as some dogs are kind to cats, etc.), they are turned into slave dogs, who are so stupid they don't even realize they are slaves. If they like both, they are given a compromise and turned into raccoons. In the Order, it is our goal to ensure that everyone is turned into an immortal cat. To do this, we must spread the word of the cats, and praise them as the true gods.
*note- Cats do not approve of ANY form of evil, including animal abuse. if you had a pet dog prior to being Enlightened, you may keep the dog if you get a cat. DO NOT abandon any animal, even a dog. Dogs can't help their idiocy. Thank you.