Saxton Hale's Majestic Dong is Ours!

Welcome to Ascension, my friend. We are a RED Splinter Faction dedicated to one goal: Killing Saxton Hale, Chopping off his Genitalia, put it in a Pickle Jar, and sell it to the Smithsonian as an attraction in it's Museum.

Also World Domination, don't wanna forget about that, I am the leader of Ascension named Ascension Heavy or Uncle Crusty if you will, Invite your friends to join our crusade of trying to force people into joining our group and/or starting flame wars with people who say "lol ascension is for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" therefore making us look like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Any questions? No? Not even a "Hi, how you doin'?" Okay, Go shoot people in TF2 or something...or not...thats okay.

Put "∀A∀" in your name so you can say "I'm part of a group that exists"

Grand Supreme Admiral Commander General - Uncle Crusty
Admiral General - Narney Brickman
Lieutenant General - Linkaton
Brigadier Kissass - Hellboy Heavy/Blue
Popcorn Colonel - TheFancyDrunkMan
Lieutenant Popcorn Colonel - DarkLegion
Moose Major - MarshMellowMedic
Butt Pirate Captain - Splinter
Lieutenant - Bogdy

Command Sergeant Major Seaman
Sergeant Major Seaman
Sergeant Major
First Sergeant
Masturbator Sergeant
Sergeant First Class
Sergeant
Corporal
Specialist
Private First Class
Private
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