Only salads pls: christian server

If change is always constant then wouldn't that change everything to do with change constantly or is everything constantly in change which means change doesn't exist but then Constance is change itself so there could never be an answer as nothing is real in the first place so everything is stuck in a present nothingness simulation. So is everything dead or is everything frozen? Or neither? Is this the beginning of everything or the end? or is there no begging or end? Am I inside my brain or am I part of a collective hive mind consciousness that is everything? Am I everything and everyone? How can I even think? Or is it me who is me? Am I myself? Do I even have a self since I am everything and anything? Is anything real? Are my dreams my reality and my conscious life someone else's reality? Are they even mine? What is mine? Is mine a thing or just another illusion? Is this even real? All these memories of learning how to write and read and speak! Are these fake memories? that is if memories even exist or am I just channeling everything from a different dimension? Creating false memory's so I can't know the truth for whatever reason? If so why have I not got an answer for why I can't know? Or am I the creator of the truth but haven't worked out how to use all the tools in the tool box yet? If yet is even a thing? Or now, or never or whenever. if your reading this what are you? Are are u me? Am I Responding too my self in a different body? If so, how many times have I been me and you if I am everything? Or have I ever been anyone or thing? Maybe I am dreaming right now as a ghost trapped in the body of vast river in something somewhere so mind blowing that I can't even comprehend! Is that good or is it bad? Does that even exist though? Good and bad? Or is it all made up? Is everything just neutral? Is so what is neutral? Is neutral nothingness? What is nothingness anyway? If nothing is nothing then it is in fact nothing. Which means everything is nothing! So does anything even exist? If nothing exists then is this in some sort of hyper present before anything and everything when everything duplicates and repeats or the opposite? Is opposite a thing since nothing exists? Are me myself and I in a loop whole repeating its self in a simulation before time and space? In some sort of black hole but instead with no colour just neutral and no whole and no nothing as that doesn't exist or does it?