Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the lord of a land called Lordran

In the Undead Asylum born and raised
In my prison cell was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And playing with my doll, Ariamis, too
When a giant bird who was up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
It took me on one little flight and I got kinda scared
It said 'You're movin' in with the Crestfallen Warrior in Lordran'

I curled up into a ball on its nest made of hay
Then she picked me up and sent me on my way
It dropped me off and then it flew away,
So I sat down by the fire said, 'I might as well kick it'.

Chosen undead, yo this is badass
Drinking Sunny D out of an estus flask.
Is this what the people of Lordran living like?
Hmmmmm, this might be alright.