A group for ♥♥♥♥♥♥ vapers only

I saw a picture of a naked woman
I didn’t want to see it
I became unsettled
The only time I saw that in real life – it was something imposed onto me
In the photo, though, the naked woman I saw – she was beautiful –
Far too beautiful
How distant beauty is from me
And I felt –
If she knew that I saw this, she would get disgusted
No one would want that curse of me being interested in them
No one wants me to talk to them
The supreme nuisance I am
I despise love
I am its sworn enemy
I am at war with it
It is unjust
It ruins everything
Poisoned existence in a manner more violent than mortality
I would readily maintain the knowledge of my death if it meant love ceased to exist
It seems like it would make enuui and terror one encounters on a daily basis endurable – if only someone wasn’t only physically touching you – but merely standing right next to you
To live with this terror – and knowing that there is a cure for it – forever out of your grasp – that is love’s crime – that is why it is such an awful aspect of life
I don’t know why everyone is so distant from me – and I can only look up at happiness from the vantage point of the sewers – I felt something like happiness as a kid – I dreamed and was excited by the things that today haunt me and incite anxiety within me
I still wonder everyday who on earth she is
And I still adamantly despise everything beautiful – I want to murder the sunset -
I am certainly a cockroach – I am frightened by the light – and people get angry whenever I show up
Birthdays, holidays – no one – I am not even a king without his crown – I was never a king in the first place
And I live in a world where these lamentations will get me laughed at
Has justice disappeared – no it never existed - an ounce of might gets one further than a pound of right and demanding and crying for fairness from a demented god – you are screaming into some disturbing type of emptiness
I no longer wish for god to exist
A man in a canoe – an empty canoe hits him – it doesn’t matter – just an accident – he pushes it out of his way
And then – another canoe hit him – this time – someone was in it – the collision being deliberate – became a crime –
If god existed, he had permitted all of this – then that would mean existence is a horrific crime we’re the victims of
If god doesn’t exist, then this is merely an accident – and existence is just one stupid superfluity
It was stupid for me to quit drinking and quit doing drugs
How is it possible my enthusiasm for life has frostbite