Combat Carl never gives up! Combat Carl finds a way!

Late last night a group of armed rebels attempted to rob the First National Bank of Carl. Their plan was halted, however, by a cat known as "Chip", who slapped the ♥♥♥♥ out of the robbers. In a medal ceremony our Glorious Leader promoted Chip to the rank of Paladin. Chip, however, was distracted by a ball of yarn at the time.

"Chip is the hero that my country needs, and all of my citizens should follow his example. In order to defeat the rebellion scum we must all be vigilant and be willing to act at a moment's notice." -Combat Carl