We shall fight for the Chair of the Boss Army!

The colour Orange rhymes with the fruit orange. Since the fruit orange IS the colour Orange, It must be the ultimate fruit.
Alot of other things are orange too including Chuck Norris' beard and carrots. Carrots help you see in the dark. If Chuck Norris could see in the dark he would be an even more efficient killing machine.
The only way to defeat Chuck Norris is to divide by 0 (but this is impossible, nothing defeats Chuck Norris).
However, If I learned anything from the DaVinci Code, it was that in order to crack this code I will need to make non-sensible assumptions with no evidence to back it up.
Therefore I am going to assume that if I divide 7 (because SEVEN is the ultimate number, nothing beats SEVEN) by 0, it will equal Orange.
The Word "raptors" has 7 letters! Knowing this, if I eat an orange at 7:07 AM on July 7th (Bungie Day) Raptor Jesus will descend from the heavens and tell me the meaning of life. Only one problem, I DON'T SPEAK RAPTOR!
But if I learned anything about the psychology of dinosaurs (Raptors are Dinosaurs!) from watching The Land Before Time, It's that they don't like it when Lava kills them! Lava is Orange! I'm interperating this to mean that I must throw the orange into the Lava of
Mount Doom.
One time a Hobbit named Frodo threw a ring into Mount Doom. You wear rings on your fingers, and guess what, Frodo only had 7 Fingers because one was bit off by Smeagol (and thumbs don't count as fingers)!

This is all we really know about this so called "ring":

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone! The Dwarf-lords must represent Bungie!That's it we must find all of these Dwarven rings, and bring them to the Dwarven Halls (Bungie Studios) and place one on each division of THE SEVENTH COLUMN ALTAR! Doing this will cause the sun to reflect perfectly off of each ring.
SUNLIGHT IS ORANGE! The Sun is the opposite of the Moon and the Moon is made of
cheese! ONETIME I ATE ORANGE CHEESE!

That must mean that that this ring is on the moon v

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

We must travel to the moon and retrieve this ring to return it to the "Dark Lord" Shishka in time for Bungie Day so that his plans to slingshot the infidels into the sun can finally be put into action!