You thought watermelon was just a tasty fruit? Well think again!

For years citizens of the United States of America have been deceived into believing that watermelon was but a mere fruit. It is only now that we humans have decided to wake up and see the true evils of this world. A revolution will begin, and we humans will be introduced to a new age of enlightenment! Only those equiped with the knowledge of the All-Seeing Watermelon can truly find the path!

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Because of Valve's heretical views on this matter, we cannot link our email. Although you cannot contact us by formal means, you can tweet the user @BarackObama and we can work out business inquiries from that point forward.

Edit: It looks like they removed the link to that twitter account. While we can't aid you directly as a member of our organization, we can howevor link you to a video that exposes watermelon for it's true evil.

The video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbmvUc56PH4