WE WILL MAKE THEM " HARDER, BETTER, FASTER, STRONGER"

"I LIKE TURTLES" we will elect the first turtle president. he will save us.

CHANGE WILL COME

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RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Spring and summer turtle parking regulations begin this Sunday

4 April, 2019 - MrDoxies | 0 Comments

Local Police are reminding turtlists that spring and summer turtle parking regulations will be taking effect starting this weekend for alternate and overnight turtle parking. Courtesy tags will be stamped on any wrongly parked turtles for a short period of time before parking tickets are issued and turtles become impounded. Nobody wants this. Please refrain from feeding parked turtles at this time as this may cause them to wander.

Don't forget to buckle up, hunker down, and get funky them long necked lil ♥♥♥♥♥.

Peace out,

Local Police Chief,
Turt Sheldon

Breaking News: Turtle Man Charged With Aggravated SWI

27 March, 2017 - MrDoxies | 0 Comments

A Turtle man is facing aggravated DWI after ocean police responded to complaints about a reckless swimmer on open sea channel on Sunday morning. Troopers located 44-year old Turt Ullington and placed him under arrest after he failed multiple standard turtle sobriety tests, involving break dancing and wicked sick tre-flips. Troopers transported Ullington to the south side penitentiary where he allegedly provided a breath sample of .40 percent which is pretty dope if you ask me. He’ll appear in town court looking pretty fly in sunglasses and a fashionable hat to answer the charge.

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