All Hail The Almighty Mantis Shrimps

What is the Mantis Shrimp? HOW. DARE. YOU. How dare you even ask such a question which is Blasphemous, But i suppose there are those who dont have the privilege of education on the ALMIGHTY mantis shrimp, But do not worry you worthless peons for we shall guide you into the divine light the mantis shrimp produces and make you become something more than a bag of meat.

So come join us.

The mantis Shrimp lives in warm, shallow water, and typically grows to be between 6-12 inches (15-30 cm) in length.

And this marvelous creature has not two, not three, not five, but SIXTEEN colour-receptive cones. The rainbow we see stems from just THREE colours, so try imagine a mantis' rainbow created from SIXTEEN colours. Where we see a rainbow, the mantis shrimp sees a THERMONUCLEAR BOMB of light and beauty.

Being a creature who perceives and presents such beauty, one would expect the mantis shrimp to be some kind of undersea holy man, gracefully floating along the sea floor, high-fiving lobsters and blessing babies. This, however, couldn't be futher from the truth. The truth is, the mantis shrimp is an UNDERSEA NIGHTMARE and one of the most creatively violent animals on earth. It has two raptorial appendages on the front of its body. These accelerate with the same velocity as a gunshot from a twenty-two caliber rifle, and in less than three-thousandths of a second can strike prey with 1,500 Newtons of force. (to put this in perspective, if human beings could accelerate our arms at 1/10th that speed, we'd be able to throw a baseball into orbit). Their limbs move so quickly the water around them boils in a process known as supercavitation. When these cavitation bubbles collapse it produces an undersea shock wave that can kill prey even if the mantis shrimp misses its target. The force of these collapsing bubbles also produces temperatures in the range of several thousand kelvins and emits tiny bursts of light. This effect is called sonoluminescence.

Using these "murder sticks" dismemberment is primarily how the mantis shrimp kills its prey. It bashes the other animals to pieces, smashing apart crabs, mollusks, oysters and octopi until deliciousness starts squirting out. Their limbs are so resilient, researchers have been studying their cell structure for use in development of advanced body armour for combat troops.

Aquariums don't typically house mantis shrimps because they tend to slaughter every other creature they share a tank with and also because they can break aquarium glass.

This is why the mantis shrimp is my new favourite animal, because in the presence of such extraordinary light and beauty it embraces DARKNESS. It extols DEATH with the luminescent brilliance of a DYING STAR. It is the Genghis Khan bathed in sherbet ice cream. The mantis shrimp is the harbringer of blood-soaked rainbows.

It is bright.

It is dark.

And it is beautiful.