Bush Did 9/11!!!

To my mind, the most damning evidence against George W. Bush is this:

George W. Bush read a children’s story aloud about a pet goat throughout the entire unfolding of 9/11. There were four hijacked planes, two towers hit and he still kept reading the story. He did not monitor what was going on. He did not order any action. He did not even get himself to a safe location. I know this story is true because I have him on video tape. I bought a copy of the Great Conspiracy video showing Bush at the school. . Keep in mind when this video was shot, one tower was already hit. Unfortunately, that Memory Hole video does not catch Card whispering in Bush’s ear. It just shows him carrying on as if nothing happened. Nero played the violin while Rome burned. George W. Bush read a children’s story while New York burned.

Now how do you interpret this?

I agree there are many ways to interpret his inaction, but it seems every possible interpretation should be sufficient to impeach George W. Bush. Unfortunately, that fact alone is insufficient for impeachment. We have to determine which particular explanation actually applies.
George W. Bush was so clueless that he though the two tower hits were both accidents caused by inexperienced hijacker pilots and that there was nothing to be done about the other two hijackings. This is the explanation he gave to Jordan, a school child, when Jordan asked about it later.
George W. Bush was stoned/drunk/hungover. He was in no shape to deal with the crisis, so his people took him out of the loop. In the video, you can see Andy Card not even waiting for a response from George W. Bush when he tells him of the second tower hit.
George W. Bush was just freaked like a deer in the headlights. He just did not know what to do so he effectively hid in the bathroom to avoid doing anything. If you can’t stand the heat, Mr. President, get out of the kitchen, to quote Harry S. Truman.
George W. Bush knew this was all coming and was going to let it happen as a pretext for a war on whomever he damn well pleased. He knew he was in no personal danger. It was all pre-arranged. He could then invade Afghanistan, Iraq or any other oil-rich country on a 9/11 revenge pretext.
George W. Bush, or rather his people, planned the attack. So he knew he personally was in no danger. bin Laden was on the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) payroll and was seen by the French secret service meeting with CIA bigwigs 72 days prior to 9/11 in a hospital, reported in the Paris newspaper Le Figaro before 9/11.
George W. Bush was attempting to inspire children to sharpen their reading skills about goats, which was more important than the new Gommorah, New York City, in flames. As all good fundamentalist Christians know, it had, after all, been prophesied.

Well, Mr. George W. Bush, what is your explanation? I think you owe the country one. You have been strangely silent. Can’t your spinmeisters come up with anything?